Wales: First Minister's Questions (08/06/04)

Rhodri Morgan marshals a lacklustre session

Assembly Members' lacklustre performance at First Minister's Questions this week makes it hard to believe there's an election on Thursday.

A little shameless electioneering, a few flailing fists and a smidgen of statistics slinging might have been expected from AMs invigorated by the recess.

But if it hadn't been for Lisa Francis' dress (shocking pink) and Peter Black's tie (just shocking) question time would have been no fun at all.

Mike German (Liberal Democrat Group Leader) asked about the future of council tax, for the second week running, as if his questions are part of the assembly's standing orders.

Rhodri Morgan ducked, as he did last week.

He said the future of council tax is up for grabs. And he accused the Liberal Democrats of engaging in "fairyland politics", as this issue has nothing to do with who is elected to local authorities on Thursday.

The rest of the session was distinctly sombre, almost defeatist, as if all members had lost the will to campaign any more.

Addicted to arson

They waded through questions on learning through the medium of the Welsh language, courtesy - again - of Mike German.

They grappled with a "perilous state of affairs" for Pontardawe with Gwenda Thomas (Labour, Neath).

And then Peter Black (Liberal Democrat, South Wales West) - who's choice of bright ties can raise a commentators heart-rate until at least Friday - raised the issue of arson.

According to Mr Black arson is like drugs: youngsters get a taste for setting fire to abandoned cars from an early age - the cannabis of fire-starting - then they progress onto the hard stuff by, for example, torching their old schools - the crack cocaine of pyromania.

Yet, in spite of this wealth of fire metaphors, Plaid Cymru leader Ieuan Wyn Jones' touch paper remained unlit as he resisted the temptation to stoke-up his "burning the quangos" clichés and stayed seated.

Instead Welsh Conservative Leader Nick Bourne turned the focus to waiting lists to reveal he has joined one - the Health Minister's.

Mr Bourne wanted to know why the government was missing targets on replying to members' letters. The answer was simple and direct: sheer volume, the first minister replied.

Mr Morgan's mention of quangos in his response was still insufficient to tempt the Plaid Cymru leader from his seat.

Unroused by his favourite topic, members must have worried about Mr Jones' wellbeing.

Imagine their surprise when he did get to his feet to ask about the wholly non-quasi-autonomous subject of NHS professionals!

Papers were aflutter as he called upon the first minister to make better use of the professionals working in the health service.

The first minister said Health Minister Jane Hutt was investigating doing just that.

Let's hope the election results on Thursday put the fight back into assembly members' debates.

You can see First Minister's Questions in full on BBC Parliament from 1500 GMT on Saturday.