'What use is one condom?'

Lihle says women must take more responsibility for themselves

Women are the key to battling the HIV/Aids pandemic, and improving their rights is one of the most effective ways of tackling the disease, charities such as ActionAid say.

Here, to mark World Aids Day on Saturday, Lihle Dlamini, a South African who is HIV positive, explains why it is so important that women speak up.

Lihle became infected in her early twenties during a relationship with a boyfriend who had many partners.

He told her that he used condoms with the other women he slept with, but that he didn't want contraception to get in the way of the relationship he had with Lihle.

"He told me I was safe," says Lihle, "and while I didn't trust him I didn't feel in the position to tell him what to do. That was the mistake."

It was several years later before the virus began to take hold. Lihle lost over a third of her bodyweight, and felt sick all the time. She decided it was time to be tested.

"When I found out I was HIV positive, it was actually a relief," she says. "At least I knew what I was dealing with, why I was sick."

And it was then Lihle decided that action was needed if other young women were not to find themselves in exactly the same position. A campaigner was born.

Tell the truth

Six million of South Africa's 40m people are infected with HIV.

Among some groups the rates are higher than the national average: some 30% of pregnant women presenting at antenatal clinics are infected, rising to nearly 50% in some regions.

At the same time, sexual violence against women is rife: South Africa has one of the highest levels of reported rape.

For those who do contract the disease, treatment is far from guaranteed.

South Africa has the highest rate of HIV in the world

President Thabo Mbeki, who has cast doubt both about the link between the HIV virus and Aids and the extent to which the disease has spread in his country, has now granted access to anti-retroviral drugs, but the majority of patients do not receive them.

"What we really need is our political leaders to stand up and tell the truth about what is happening," says Lihle.

"We need role models who'll tell us whether they themselves are HIV positive or not, who'll say 'you must respect women, you must use condoms'. It's not happening at the moment."

So Lihle is taking the message herself. Women, she says, must feel empowered to say no or demand their partner use a condom.

The bottom line is: you change women's status, you change the number of people getting HIV Lihle

"The key thing is economic independence. Women need to take responsiblility for themselves. Too many are in relationships where they are dependent upon the man, and feel they have to do as he says."

"Female condoms must be more widely available so women can take contraception into their own hands and not just rely on the man," she says.

"At the moment you go to the clinic, they give you one. Well how much use is that? People don't just have sex once."

"The bottom line is: you change women's status, you change the number of people getting HIV."

Slowly, slowly

Lihle says support is slowly growing for her campaign, from women, but also, increasingly from men too.

"There are men who want to change things, but it is very hard in a culture where attitudes are so ingrained."

Lihle campaigns with her husband, who is not infected.

"It is good he joins me because men feel they can approach him when they might not always approach me. He sits down with young men, older men, he talks about condoms, about why it's not right to beat your wife."

The two are hoping to start a family before long, and are currently being advised on the best way to proceed.

"We have a very full life together. HIV has not robbed me of that."