'I set up website to commemorate son'

Jane Elliott
Health reporter, BBC News

Helen and Sam now have two healthy children

When Helen Savage lost her first baby at 39 weeks she and her entire family were devastated.

Little Samuel was to have been the first grand-child on either side of the family and his arrival was very much anticipated.

But just a week before being born he had died from Group B streptococcus - one woman in four carries this bacteria in her vagina, although she may have no symptoms and be unaware it is there.

Babies can come into contact with it while still in the womb or during birth.

Some develop serious conditions like pneumonia, meningitis or septicaemia, while, others, like Samuel die.

No risk indications

Some women know they are at risk of the infection, because of previous problems, a premature rupture of their membranes, or because a urine test during pregnancy, reveals that they have the infection.

But in Helen's case there were no indication and she only found out the cause of death six weeks later.

They did an ultrasound and couldn't find a heart beat Helen Savage

"I had a trouble free pregnancy," said Helen, 29, from Lisburn, Northern Ireland.

"We first found out we were expecting Samuel in June 2004, and from the moment we saw two lines on the pregnancy test we were so excited about his arrival. Daddy was sure he was a boy right from the start, but Mummy took a bit more convincing.

"But when we saw him waving to us on the 3D scan at 24 weeks, there was no doubt. Tears and hugs all round - we couldn't wait to meet our little boy.

"Everything went incredibly well throughout the pregnancy, he grew and grew, all antenatal checks went fine. He seemed to be so strong and healthy inside Mummy's tummy. He kicked, hiccupped, and somersaulted his way through pregnancy.

"Then one day we noticed that he was not moving. We thought everything was fine, but thought we should go to the hospital to get things checked out.

"They did an ultrasound and couldn't find a heart beat."

Helen and husband Sam were told that their baby had died.

They went home in a state of complete shock and the next day Helen was induced and on Wednesday 16th February 2005, she gave birth to baby Samuel, who weighed 7lb 9oz.

Future hopes

Two years later Sam and Helen have had two more children Aimée and Nathan.

But Helen said her subsequent pregnancies were hard, particularly as she approached the final weeks.

"With people who have had miscarriages they can breathe a small sigh of relief when they pass the 12 week mark, but I couldn't relax until after Amy was born.

"I kept thinking what if it happened again."

And Helen remembered the raw feeling of loss she felt after Samuel's death and how desperate she was to find someone who had been through the same experiences.

She found plenty of support groups on the web, but wanted to create something that reflected her own situation.

So last December she set up a forum for people like herself to share experiences and talk.

For most the first year is the worst Erica Stewart

And to mark what would have been Samuel's 2nd birthday she set up 'Life After Loss', a support group for parents who lose children, which now has 250 members based in Northern Ireland, England the USA and even Australia.

"I wanted to do something to mark Samuel's birthday and I could not bake him a cake. This was my way of doing something for him.

"And we have had so many members saying how we have helped them. I have met up with some of the local girls and it is like I have always known them. We have made some incredible friendships.

"Life can be enjoyable despite the pain of loss," said Helen.

As well as the forum and personal stories Helen has a section where people can light candles for their babies.

Groups offer support

Erica Stewart, bereavement support manager for SANDS(Still-birth and neonatal death society) said groups like theirs and Helen's offer vital support for grieving parents.

"Talking to other parents does help. After the funeral of a child it is a conclusion for many, but for the parents it is a time when they are still grieving and when they often need the most support.

"Talking to someone else about what has happened gives them that permission to grieve.

"For most the first year is the worst because it is full of landmarks that they have to do without their child such as going on holiday or their first birthday."