Pregnancy Diary: Staying positive

Michelle considers changing her lifestyle to increase her chances of conceiving

It's been several months now and still no period or positive pregnancy test result.

I'm testing every other week, just in case. It's horrible because it make me feel like a failure every time it comes up negative.

We keep reassuring ourselves that it is perfectly normal to take some time, even years.

We are undeterred and are both feeling positive about our decision to try for a baby.

Patience and perseverance is the key

The difficulty is not knowing when might be our so-called "fertile window" - the days around ovulation time, when the egg is released.

We decided to buy a stock of ovulation tests and pregnancy testing kits over the internet. I can't believe how expensive these things are in chemists.

Should I eat meat?

I'm focusing on leading a healthier lifestyle.

I am taking my daily folic acid and have swapped my favourite tipple of red wine for sparkling water, which has raised a few eyebrows from friends and associates who don't know that I am trying for a baby.

It is a new experience going out on the town without indulging. It has its advantages - I haven't had a hangover in months.

I'm still not sure whether or not to start eating meat, being a non-meat eater.

Morally, I do not want to, but the health of my baby-to-be comes first now.

Although I eat fish, I want to make sure I am getting enough of the right nutrients.

I met up with my sister last night who told me I am going to be an aunty. I'm so excited for her. It's fantastic news.

It's also given me renewed hope that I will conceive. Patience and perseverance is the key I suppose.

---

Your comments:

My two sons were conceived by vegetarian parents and have never eaten meat. They are both tall and healthy children with masses of energy. Why would you want to go against your moral inclination when there is simply no need? No health professional ever suggested to me during my pregnancy and into breastfeeding that my diet was inadequate - and you even eat fish! It sounds as if you may have been receiving some well-intentioned but ill-founded advice - trust your own instincts and relax. If it helps - my second baby was born a substantial 10lb 20z, walked at 11 months and now aged 7 beats the 'carnivores' at judo!
Rebecca Hornby, Stockport, UK

I have noticed that when the pressure is off (for both parents to be) to get pregnant, the woman will more or less conceive straight away, so to put it simply - forget the aim in getting pregnant, and just be healthy! Stress can be a key factor in preventing pregnancy. And eat meat, let's face it: veggies cannot give you the right amount of iron in the same way the odd slice of beef can (and the odd glass of red wine with dinner is also very good) good luck.
Melinda, Reading

Everyone is different and people who say "don't worry" are generally the ones who have been fortunate to conceive in a relatively short space of time. I am pregnant now after 5 years of trying. It was not a natural conception and I believe you have to listen to the people around you and take on board the advice you feel relevant to you. I found reflexology helped me as, if nothing else, it helped me to relax and stay positive. Good luck!
Jane, Brighton

Just relax and be healthy Trudy, UK

I don't wish to be rude, but it sounds as if you are making far too big a deal of preparing for pregnancy. Just relax and be healthy. You sound perfectly healthy, the only thing that sounds 'wrong' is that you are putting pressure on yourself and creating stress by worrying and being impatient about it which is guaranteed to upset your hormone balance. Few couples conceive straight away, but most have conceived within a year. It isn't a race. I know it's frustrating but it will happen when everything is right for it to happen so ease up. Relax. Allow yourself a glass of wine occasionally. Get to know your most fertile time and enjoy the life you lead at the moment and all that practising at getting pregnant because once you are pregnant everything will change. For the better, of course.
Trudy, UK

If you use the Fertility Awareness Method - monitoring cervical mucus and waking body temperature you will be able to identify fertile days and even be able to see when pregnancy has occurred. I recommend this method for anyone having trouble identifying their fertile time. And it's free.
Philippa, Manchester

Practice makes pregnant, if you are lucky.
Chris, USA

Please tell Michelle she would be far wiser to buy the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility rather than buying ovulation sticks. It gives a real insight to understanding your body and reading the signs, as well as excellent advice on charting to find out your fertile period. I used it and it was absolutely spot on. I was amazed by how wrong I'd been about things that were happening to me and now I understand my body so much better. Good luck with trying; you are very brave to diary this so publicly.
Jane Mace, Newcastle upon Tyne, UK

We're all vegetarians and had no problem conceiving two healthy kids - no need to eat meat. Your body mass index might be a bit low - should be 21 to conceive easily. Giving up caffeine definitely helps. Best of luck.
Tim Steele, Cambridge, UK