[an error occurred while processing this directive]
BBC News
watch One-Minute World News
Last Updated: Sunday, 30 January, 2005, 12:25 GMT
Tumour diary: The time has come
BBC News science and technology writer Ivan Noble was diagnosed with a malignant brain tumour in August 2002. Since then he has been sharing his experiences in an online diary.

This is my last diary.

I have written it ahead of time because I knew there would be a point when I was not well enough to continue.

That time has now come.

When I began writing about having a brain tumour, I did not really know why.

I have not been defeated

That personal style of journalism was never something I was particularly attracted to or interested in reading myself.

But when I was diagnosed back in 2002 I had a strong urge to fight back against what felt like the powerlessness of the situation.

I really wanted to try to make something good out of bad.

I was not sure if what I wrote would be any good and I was not sure if anyone would read it but I wanted to try.

And I also very much wanted to use the diary to maintain my link with my job if I was not well enough to work.

Optimism in dark circumstances

I know now that people have found the diary useful, and it meant a lot to me in particular to know that there were people in a similar situation to me or caring for such people who got something out of it.

The regular feedback from dozens and dozens of people every time I have written has been wonderful, especially in real times of crisis.

I know that it has kept me going much longer than I would have without it and I am grateful.

I am grateful to many people and this is probably the time to let them know.

My oncologist has been superb in his ability to generate optimism in dark circumstances and to provide me with invaluable respite, as has his colleague my neurosurgeon, who has more than once pulled nasty lumps of cancer out of my head with astonishing skill.

I did not see all the members of the teams involved in the craniotomies I had but I know what a superb job they did and how they kept me in comfort and without pain afterwards. They and all the staff involved in my operations and aftercare were first class.

My GP has been unstinting in his support and without his prompt action at the beginning of my drama I believe I would have done nowhere near as well.

The support and professionalism of Macmillan nurses is legendary. Mine has been no exception. I clicked with him the minute I met him.

My plea

I would also like to say thank you both to the many colleagues and friends at the BBC who have been such a support and especially to the people who manage the department I work for, for their personal support way beyond the call of duty.

What I wanted to do with this column was try to prove that it was possible to survive and beat cancer and not to be crushed by it.

Even though I have to take my leave now, I feel like I managed it.

I have not been defeated.

Thank you once again to everyone who helped me and came with me.

The last phase now will, I know, not be easy but I know that I will be looked after as I always have been.

I will end with a plea. I still have no idea why I ended up with a cancer, but plenty of other cancer patients know what made them ill.

If two or three people stop smoking as a result of anything I have ever written then the one of them who would have got cancer will live and all my scribblings will have been worthwhile.

You can send your comments using the form below.

Your comments

I hope that everyone battling cancer fights with the same determination as you do.
Sarah, Scotland
I've never really known what to write before, so I never put up a post, although I always wanted to. You've been an inspiration and a help to many, including me. I just hope that everyone battling cancer fights with the same determination as you do. Keep fighting to the end. My prayers and best wishes go to you and your family.
Sarah, Scotland

I'm a second year medical student in London, and your diary has touched me so much. I've followed your course for the past two years and it saddens and shocks me that our journey together is about to end. I will see many patients in my career, and I like to think that your writings will have influenced the way I think of them in the years to come. Thank you so very much for your gift.
Sundeep, Hayes, London, England

Ivan, how wonderful, that out of your despair and hopelessness, you have been able to give of yourself and your experiences through your diary to others and to inspire so many. My own daughter who is the mother of three young children, is also struggling with the same type of brain tumour that you have. While her tumour appears to be stable for now, she suffers immensely from depression. Just having read some parts of your diary today for the first time, has spurred me on to be strong for her.
Helen, Canada

Ivan, having read your diary from the beginning (as well as several re-reads) I would be honoured to comply with your wish that people stopped smoking. Consider it done. I only wish there was more I could do. Look after yourself.
Ralph Hardwick, UK

When my wife was diagnosed with leukaemia last summer, my life changed and I felt helpless. Your diary helped. At Christmas, I wrote a greeting to everyone and "reminded" them about giving blood. Many people have since told me that I made them act. This has saved lives. My message made a tiny difference. By comparison to yours, it was a tiny squeak. You have made a big difference to the world. Be proud!
Colin Walls, UK

Ivan, you started writing this column about the time that I was diagnosed with cancer. Thankfully I have come through it. I owe a lot to you, it was you who gave me perspective, hope, and determination. I made family members read it to help them understand. I still recommend your column to people I know who fall ill. I will miss your writing. I am not really a religious man, but you will be in my thoughts often. You should be proud of yourself with what you have done. The words will be here for a very long time after our generation gives way to the next - giving them comfort and hope. Thank you, good luck, and goodbye.
Iain, UK

Your column has helped me greatly in coming to terms with my own life events
Geoff, Winsford, UK
My sister suffered the same illness as you twenty years ago. At the time I did not understand what she was going through. Your column has helped me greatly in coming to terms with my own life events. I sincerely hope that it is a long time until we next hear anything about you.
Geoff, Winsford, UK

Hi Ivan, It's hard to find something to say: nothing I come up with will be adequate, but I just can't sit here without replying to your last diary. Your writing throughout your illness has been a real achievement and has affected more people than you can know so congratulations on a valuable contribution to so many lives. Thank you so much. I will never forget the things I have read in your diaries. Love and very best wishes to you and your family.
Rick Cadger, UK

Ivan, while I'm sure you've helped thousands of people who are coping with cancer I'd like to thank you for helping me deal with my depression. The last 12 months have, at times, been very difficult for me but whenever I've felt particularly low reading your diary has helped put things into perspective. Take care both in this voyage and the rest to come.
Richard W, UK

Ivan, after a cancer-related lung removal my father had in 2001, I desperately searched for information and comfort on the internet (living far from home) - then I found your diary and have since been inspired and grateful to your thoughts and sheer bravery in facing the unlucky cards life dealt you. Your wife and children will certainly always be proud of you. Arrivederci.
Sinead, Italy

Ivan, as you sign off and say goodbye know that you have left an impression on the many of us who have followed your trials and tribulations over the last two years. Wishing you a peaceful journey.

Ivan, I have been following your diary and have always felt inspired by your thoughts to remember what's really important in our lives. Your impact is truly great. Your wife and children are lucky to have you in their lives. I wish you all peace. Thank you for sharing so freely with us all.
Margarete, Scotland

Just a few words to thank you for sharing your diary with us all Ivan. You are a brave and special person and I will miss your journal very much. As an ex-cancer sufferer (Hodgkin's Lymphoma), I know exactly what you mean about having no idea why you ended up with cancer. I asked myself the same question, but all we can do is hope that (one day) these questions will be answered and all cancers will finally be curable. I wish you and your family all the best for the future. Good luck my friend.
Susan Hutton, Scotland

Your diary has humbled, educated and touched me; made me laugh, made me cry...
Liz, Norfolk

Ivan, words don't really seem adequate sometimes do they? Your diary has humbled, educated and touched me; made me laugh, made me cry... I am sure your friends and family will continue to give you all the strength that you need. Your incredible spirit will live on through them all. It will also, in a different way, live on through all of us who have followed your diary over the years. You have strengthened and changed us all. I am certainly grateful to you, in a way I can't begin to describe - the best I can say is you have changed my perspective - and changed it for the better.
Liz, Norfolk

I have found your column moving and inspirational. I wish you and your family well at this difficult time.
Fay, UK

Ivan, your column has been an inspiration for so many people. Thanks for sharing your diary with us. We'll miss your courage, and we'll keep you in our prayers.
Andres Rozo, Pensacola, Florida, USA

You are an inspirational and courageous man. Thank you for sharing your daunting journey with others, it's a brave and generous thing, and thanks to your having done it; I stopped smoking in July last year after many failed attempts. You are a hero to me! All the very best to you - you are in my thoughts and prayers.
Melanie, Germany

Ivan, you are an inspiration to us all. I've been following your diary since the beginning, but this is the first time I've commented. I know that your words have made a difference to many, and you certainly help us put our own trivial problems into perspective. I hope you have gained as much from writing these as we have from reading them. My best wishes to you and your family.
Robert, England

Ivan, after reading your diary I've always hugged my kids a little tighter, been a little more patient, and tried to be a better husband. When your children are older, they will be very, very proud. Have a peaceful journey.
Phil, UK

Love to you Ivan. Love to all those you love. Love throughout the next part of the journey.
Kim, UK

Ivan, our prayers and thoughts are with you, we will light a candle for you in church on Sunday.
Janice, USA

I've been moved and inspired by your courage and bravery
Ade, Norfolk, England
Up until now I have been one of the huge 'silent majority' of your diary's readership, but now I feel compelled to write. I've been moved and inspired by your courage and bravery, regaining perspective on what is really important in life (i.e. family and friends) on many occasions. You have entered our hearts and minds, made a difference to our lives, and we are all the better for it.
Ade, Norfolk, England

Ivan, I will miss your diary so much, it has always made me put my silly problems into perspective. The strength and courage you have demonstrated is truly awesome.
Dorothy Williams, Montreal, Canada

My father was diagnosed with a brain tumour towards the end of last year and it felt like our world was turned upside down. I found your diary a number of days after and it has helped my family and I face the uncertainty that lies ahead. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for writing your diary, you have comforted me and given me strength. You are an amazing man.
Jeni, UK

Ivan - your strength and bravery have shone through every word you have written. I am confident you have given these same attributes to people in a similar condition to yourself. Your self-belief and determination is infectious. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, feelings, hopes and fears.
Sarah Harrison, Hull, England

When I started reading your diary I was a smoker. Thanks in many ways to you, I am an ex-smoker for the last 16 months. You have been a great inspiration to, I am sure, not only those in similar circumstances but to your readers as a whole. My thoughts are with you and your family.
Kieran, England

I admire and respect your strength
Virginia, Warwick University, UK
I am a biology student, currently studying oncology, and your messages have really given me an additional perspective to the illness which is overlooked in lectures. I admire and respect your strength. Thank you so much.
Virginia, Warwick University, UK

Ivan, I have read your column from the beginning. Each time I have been awed and inspired by you. Reading other comments, it's clear that you've made a difference to a lot of people.
Cary, Wales

Your strength has demonstrated the very best of humanity, and something I shall strive to achieve. I salute your courage in the face of such adversity and I salute your determination to not let the cancer defeat you.
Peter, UK

Ivan, thank you so much for sharing your experiences with us. My son is going through cancer for the third time in 6 years. As we've followed your ups and downs, you have been an inspiration to us. We have come away with a never give up attitude. God bless you. You are in this family's prayers everyday.
Sandi E, USA

Thank you, Ivan, for reminding me of how special life is. I will do my best to rejoice in each day, and to help my 9 1/2-year-old daughter do the same. Your words have made a difference!
Lynn Ruebush, USA

I will miss reading your diary Ivan. I feel like I have really come to know you. Thank you for spending your precious time writing it - I am sure there were times when you felt like not bothering. My thoughts are with you and family. God Bless x
Linda, UK

I understand so much more because of you and your story
Neil, England
Ivan, I shall miss you and your diary, you have had a profound effect on me since your first entry. I understand so much more because of you and your story; I have changed and I thank you.
Neil, England

Dear Ivan, you have created a body of work to give hope, courage and warning (no smoking!) to others. Your family is much larger than you can imagine and we all send you love and support.
Pam Lambert, USA

Ivan, you have been a source of inspiration to us all and will be very sadly missed. My best wishes to you and your family at this time. We are all thinking of you. You have made more of a difference than you will probably ever realise.
Jennifer, England

Ivan, because of you I quit smoking in December 2003. Thank you.
Siria Gardi-Montebugnoli, United Kingdom

You're willingness to continue sharing your feelings and insights throughout this ordeal has been nothing less than heroic; please know that your words will always have a place in the hearts and minds of your many readers.
Michael Schaudies, USA

You have reached out and touched the lives of many
A Dunne, England
In two years of adversity you have accomplished more than many will in a lifetime. You have reached out and touched the lives of many. You have made a difference. The love and thanks of many are with you.
A Dunne, England

My best wishes to you Ivan. I have followed your notes for so long I feel like I know you like a brother. Your journey has taught me to not take people for granted and treasure each and every moment.
Liam Guiney, UK

I will miss your column, and although I have never smoked, I'll share it with those whom I care for that do, so that they can have an idea of the consequences. My mum's story was similar to your own, and I appreciate your courage and dedication to chronicling your struggle more than you know, it's rare to see the non-sanitized human discussion of someone with cancer. Normally the anecdotes are reader's digest sweetened, made safe and unchallenging to read, and allow for an easy, unquestioning compassion. You've left something of yourself in your epistle, and I thank you for your courage.
Shai Mohammed, Texas, USA

Your fight is inspiring and brave
Jeff, Devon
Ivan, as a social worker working with many people who are also living with what you are going through, I feel that your words have helped me understand more and hopefully become a better, more caring, understanding worker. Your fight is inspiring and brave, and puts our own, often trivial problems into perspective.
Jeff, Devon

Ivan, at the risk of repeating everyone else, your strength and courage will have given comfort to many others and I admire and salute you for being willing to share it. Also, when reading about your frightening situation, it makes me realise how the little problems that we all encounter daily are nothing when compared to yours.
Susan, The Netherlands

Ivan, you have truly been an inspiration. Instead of wallowing in self pity and giving up, you made the conscious decision to do battle with the cancer and live your life. Thank you for sharing your story. You have set a positive example to all cancer patients, showing that cancer may break your body but it cannot break your spirit.
Rhonda, USA

Hopefully your plea will be answered many times over Ivan, you have a couple of ex-smokers in this household that you can attribute quite directly to your online diary. I wish you peace and much love and strength. You are an inspiration.
Linda Smith, Scotland

There's one thing that connects all the comments to your diary - everyone says Thank you. And I'm no different. You have truly enriched my understanding of something that cannot be easily comprehended. Thank you - I'll miss your column very much.
Simon Cole, Portsmouth, England

I have been reading your diary for a long time now and it is very sad to know this is your last entry. You are such a fighter and give inspiration and strength to so many.
Helen, UK

No matter what happens Ivan you have made a difference.
Douglas, UK

So many of us have been strengthened and encouraged by your diary
Shirina Ibrahim, Egypt
Thank you Ivan for being so courageous in sharing your thoughts with us. So many of us have been strengthened and encouraged by your diary. You are not defeated but won a great victory - your light will shine on. Peace and love to you.
Shirina Ibrahim, Egypt

Your diary has helped me understand what you and others have gone through in a way that nothing else could. Sharing your experiences with the world has been a help to many. Thank you.
D, England

Ivan, you are an inspiration to us all - I have been deeply humbled by your constant bravery and optimism. Whenever I'm facing anything that seems too big for one person, I'll think of the amazing way that you handled this. Thank you my friend.
Ryan, York, UK

Ivan, I have read most of your diary entries, and never commented before, but this time I felt I had to say something. Thank you for sharing your story. You are a very brave and selfless person, and if I were in your situation, I hope I would be capable of being even half as brave as you.
Zulekha, UK

Ivan, Thank you so much for having taken the time to share your thoughts and experiences with us. You have been a true inspiration to us all. I shall miss your columns. I wanted to wish you and your family the very best and let you know you are in our thoughts.
Anne Marie , UK

Your diary has given me an invaluable insight into what it's like to live with a frightening, unpredictable illness, something that any one of us could be faced with at any time. The courage that you must need to face each day is unimaginable to someone like me who has not faced such a test. I'd like to say thank you for your diary, which has certainly taught me to make the most of each day.
Alison, UK

Your courage, determination and good humour has been inspirational and heart-warming to so many people. I feel both privileged and humbled that you have chosen to share your experiences and feelings throughout such a difficult time. Thank you. My thoughts are with you and your family.
Alex B, UK

Ivan, I have been following your journey since you first wrote and have often wanted to write but somehow never seemed to have the right words. I still don't, but feel compelled none the less. Your strength and courage are outstanding. To continue hoping, fighting and living the way you have over the last two years is inspiring.
Catherine, Durham, UK

Your story is a strong and heroic one and your determination to bring some good to others from your own nightmare is something very special. I work with young people in my work and I am always looking for stories of those who take the time to touch the lives of others... I will share your story with them.
J Regan, England

Your diary has helped give me an insight into what the patient is going through
Paul McBrien, Scotland
Ivan, I have been reading your diary and find it very moving. I work as a nurse in a neurosurgical ward where many of our patients have brain tumours. It is extremely busy and although you are constantly working with the patients administering drugs, carrying out procedures, it can be hard to get close to the patient and truly empathise with their experience. Your diary has helped give me an insight into what the patient is going through, thank you for that, good luck to you and yours.
Paul McBrien, Scotland

Ivan, I have read your diary entries and marvelled at your determination and bravery. Thank you for taking the time to write and you have my admiration and best wishes.
Darren, UK

You are a strong and inspirational person and I send my love to you and wish you the best for the future. Keep strong.
Nikki, N. Ireland

I have read your articles from the start and found them invaluable. I'm studying medicine and your articles have given me an insight of the other side from where I stand. Thank you for writing and good luck in the future.
Emma, UK

I shall miss your columns so much, Ivan, but your spirit stays with me. I've learned so much from you. Your words have had a profound effect on me over these years; they've given me so much, and your words and your spirit will continue to do so. Bless you and thank you.

Reading your diary always puts everything into perspective
Alice, Hitchin, UK
Thank you Ivan for sharing your experiences, good, bad, and just plain awful with us all. Reading your diary always puts everything into perspective and my silly little day to day worries which always seem giant, shrink in comparison.
Alice, Hitchin, UK

Good luck and all the best. I enjoy your diary, it gives me strength and I'm sure that all Canadians are with you.
Terry, Toronto, Canada

For you I have great admiration. A friend of mine is going through a similar obstacle and has been for some time. Reading your diary has helped me understand how he might be feeling. This has, I feel, helped me be a better friend and for this I thank you.
Dave, Middlesbrough, UK

Since your first column over two years ago, your columns have been a source for inspiration and hope. I shall miss your columns sincerely and feel I will miss you as well.
Jordan Dias, Edinburgh, UK

Thank you for sharing your feelings with us. Keep being strong.
Maņana, Spain

You're a great man Ivan, you're in my heart and thoughts. Your lesson about making every day worth living is invaluable. Thank you, good luck.
Toki, Italy

Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us Ivan. You have been a real inspiration with the courage and optimism you have shown throughout this terrible illness. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family. Oh, and I've just swelled the ranks of non-smokers - something you helped me do.
Karen, N. Ireland

Your courage and humour have been truly inspirational
Maria, UK
Ivan, I too have never found the right words to write before, but feel I cannot allow the chance to pass to thank you for sharing all that you have in the past years. Your courage and humour have been truly inspirational. Love and peace be with you, your family and your loved ones.
Maria, UK

God is with you.
Claudia, Italy

Reading your diary reminds everyone of what really matters in life and that there is hope and love, even in our darkest moments. Best wishes to you and your family.
Nick, England

Ivan, I hope that reading all these comments from around the world helps you to realise that you have done something that many of us fail to do - you have made a difference. A huge, positive difference. People have stopped smoking because of you; future oncologists have a better understanding because of you; people appreciate their own lives and those they love better - all because of you. I can't help shedding a few tears over your courage, and I send love and prayers for you and your family. Thank you.
B. Jones, Switzerland

Your diary has been incredibly touching and humbling
Carole Young, Scotland
Ivan, your diary has been incredibly touching and humbling. Life can be fabulous but can also be so cruel, can't it? I wish you and your young family lots of love and luck. You know we are all thinking about you. x
Carole Young, Scotland

Ivan, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. You have showed great courage over the years and you have inspired me and helped me to put things into perspective. Your children will grow up to be proud of such a father. I thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and fears but even more so your determination and hope. May God bless you and your family and help you all through the last part of this journey.
Irene, Switzerland

Ivan, you were not defeated. Thank you for sharing your life with so many and giving them courage. Learned a new prayer on Wednesday I would like to let you know. It's from an old Vedic scripture: "Lead me from darkness to light, from ignorance to knowledge, from death to eternity." Nic
Nic, Germany

Wishing you peace. Your brave fight should humble us all.
AC, Bromsgrove, UK

Ivan, I, like many, have followed your diary since the beginning. You should be proud that as a result of your diary so many people will be leading better and more honourable lives. Thank you. My thoughts are with you and your family.
Sheena, UK

Ivan - I think you're brilliant. That's all I wanted to say xxx
Charlotte, UK

I and all other carers have gained insight from your account
Pat Edwards, France (ex UK)
Ivan, I too was so moved that it was to be your last diary entry. You have shown so much courage during your illness, and given hope and insight to so many. I too as a nurse know that normally we are too busy to spend time with patients to know their fears and worries. I feel I and all other carers have gained insight from your account. Thank you for spending the time in writing it. God bless you and your family my prayers are with you all.
Pat Edwards, France (ex UK)

Ivan, I don't know if I am giving up smoking, probably not. By the way, from now on, lot of people, lot of readers, will take up considering the value of their life form another point of view. Thanks a lot. Emiliano
Emiliano, Italy

A big hug for you. And thank you.
Annalisa, Italy

I was having a shitty day when I read you final diary and once again everything was put into perspective. Thank you for your courage and inspiration. I am thinking of you, your family and friends.
Ruth, Spain

Thank you, Ivan. Good luck!
Silvė, Italy

Your descriptions of the value you've placed on the time you've shared with your children has inspired me to have children of my own
L J Jacob, UK
Thank you Ivan. Your writings have moved me deeply these past months, and - while giving up smoking is an admirable goal - your descriptions of the value you've placed on the time you've shared with your children has inspired me to have children of my own. I'm sure they'd want to thank you, when they can.
L J Jacob, UK

I picked your column up about half way through and it grabbed me straight away. You have always seemed to have so much hope, and never given in to defeat. I wish you the best of luck and may your next turn upon the wheel of life be a little easier for you.
Victoria Ullathorne, UK

Hi Mr Noble, my name is Valeria, sorry but I speak very bad English. This is first time that I read your letter, but I want send my little message to tell you "good luck!". TANTI AUGURI !!!
Valeria, Italy

Goodbye and god bless
Ashley Smith, Switzerland

Ivan! I'll pray for you... I wish you peace. People should be inspired by your life... Be strong!!!
Pietro A., Italy

Ivan thanks to you i have stopped smoking. Your diary has made an impact on my life, you have made a difference. Peace to you. Thank you.
Dave, England

I work at a cancer charity and your words have helped greatly in trying to comprehend this terrible disease. Your words will provide strength to your children when they are older. Sending very best wishes to you and your family.
Claire, London, UK

Thank you for sharing your story
Maddie, Denmark
I'm not a terribly religious person, but I will pray for you, Ivan. Thank you for sharing your story, so that we who are fortunate to be in good health will start appreciating what we have and not take it for granted. God bless you.
Maddie, Denmark

I work for our fantastic NHS, in oncology, planning radiotherapy treatments. Your diary has helped me focus on becoming a better planner, but even more than this it has helped me become a better person. Thank you.
Chris Percy, Hull, East Yorkshire

Your diary has been an inspiration to many, thank you for spending your precious time to record it. Just to let you know I will be thinking about you and your family.
Penny Richards-Good, Cheltenham, UK

I have been reading your diary regularly and found that your courage and determination together with your sense of humour have been a tremendous example and inspiration to us all.
M. Mitchell, UK

You have shown such strength and I hope that you can face this next challenge with same bravery. Thanks for sharing your experience. It will have saved lives even if you are unaware of the ripple effect. Wishing you peace.
Becky, Canada (ex-UK)

Ivan, I am sending you a big hug to give you strength and courage. You have certainly been a great source of inspiration to me and I have certainly decided to give up smoking after reading your diary. Good luck! Please be strong.
Ana M Brown, England

You have reinforced the strong belief that in the end the disease never wins
Coralie, Norwich, England
I struggle to express how grateful I am to you. My mother died shortly after my 30th birthday, today I am 34. You have reinforced the strong belief that in the end the disease never wins. Like my mum you convey such inspiration, dignity, courage and contentment despite physical suffering and the emotional turmoil diagnosis brings. I saw in my mum, and have read from you, that this turmoil is transitory. Inner peace wins. The disease does not.

'Death has lost its sting', so true. My mum's illness was the hardest but one of the happiest times of my life, being with her when she died the greatest honour. Despite grief, I had, and still have, an overriding sense of peace. You have nothing to fear. I wish you and your family peace and love as you continue your journey.
Coralie, Norwich, England

Ivan I have read your diary from the beginning and really admire your courage in fighting your tumour. I wish you a peaceful journey in your next stage, and that your family will find the courage that they will need in the time to come. Carol
Carol Law, U K

Ivan. Words are never enough and after reading your final column, I'm struggling to find any that are worthy enough to write. You are truly a remarkable person. Make the most of your time and enjoy every single minute with your family. Your legacy will continue through your children.
Chris, UK

Ivan, I' don't know english very well: only a word, THANKS.
Brunella, Italy

Ivan, thank you for sharing your thoughts, hopes and fears. I've shared your delight with your children and cried when times were less joyful. My mother-in-law died of ovarian cancer last year after waging war with it for ten years. Her philosophy at the end was that she had won the battle as the cancer would die with her, unable to survive alone. May you and your family also find the courage and serenity to face the next step of your journey.
Alison, England

As a journalist I have been struck by your marvellous professionalism and grace under pressure Ivan. I know your words will have carried around the globe and enlightened many many thousands of people. I hope you can take some strength from those of us who have had the privilege to read them. God bless, Tony
Tony Belshaw, UK

I read your story in Korea internet news. It's very impressed to me. Although I can't write English well, You must remember....I respect you.
Shin, Korea

Thank you for clarifying the beauty and importance of life
Maeve, UK
Ivan, like many I have read your diary from day one, but never felt it appropriate to comment. I have been lucky enough never to have been closely affected by cancer whilst old enough to comprehend it. However I do feel the need to wish you a peaceful journey forward, and to thank you for clarifying the beauty and importance of life.... the life we are living right now... You have created something many of us should rightly be admiring of and striving to do, a legacy of strength, dignity and hope that your children can always be enormously proud of.
Maeve, UK

Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless. Thank you so much.
Mike, UK

Ivan, you are that rarest of individuals, someone who has really made a difference in this world. You have touched the life of many and made the world a better place as people have realised how precious our loved ones are. May peace be with you.
Pauline, UK

I still remember that "if Ivan can cope, so can I" moment. You have touched many lives - thank you.
Claire J, Poland

God bless you and your family. Thank you for sharing your journey with us, and teaching us to appreciate all that we have. You are truly a great inspiration, and the most courageous person. You have helped me to overcome my fear of the unknown, and taught me to live each day with the grace, and love to help and reach out to others. You and your loved ones are in my prayers.
Paula , New Zealand

Your children will grow to be very proud of you
Alex, Belgium
Ivan, I am sad to see that this is to be your last message - I really will miss you. You have moved me to tears on so many occasions and also helped me and countless others to keep life in perspective and learn to value what we have in life. You are courageous and strong and I am sure that your children will grow to be very proud of you. Thank you for sharing so much of your difficult journey with us all. My thoughts and warmest wishes are with you and your family.
Alex, Belgium

There are no words that can really say how I feel, I couldn't believe that this is your last entry and feel very emotional as if I know you in person. I take courage from your diary every day and know in life's many ups and down for years to come I will still be drawing on the courage you have shown. I wish you and your family great strength and love to see you all through.
Siobhan, NI

There aren't the words to describe how I felt when I read your final column Ivan. I never thought this day would come, and never knew that it would have such an effect on me. My thoughts are with your family, they are blessed to have known you. Go in peace, you have made a difference.
Ryan Huckle, England

Ivan, you an example for everybody, thanks for sharing your pain with us, hope it has been something has helped you...surely it helped me...bye great man
Alessio, Milan, Italy

Thank you so much for your courage and generosity of spirit; you have been an obvious inspiration to the people who have commented here (myself included), and doubtless many who have not. Love to you and yours. Kia Kaha.
Andrew, UK (Ex-New Zealand)

Hi strong man, I had read about your columns on my favourite online newspaper just some minutes ago. I would wish u peace and good luck, God bless u
Pietro, Italy

Dear Ivan, there is a time to love, there is a time to hate, there is a time to smile, there is a time to cry, there is a time to live, there is a time to die, you are superb in all time. We love you. Thank you.
Anna Maria, Italy

'Let my name be ever the household word it always was, let it be spoken without effect, without the trace of shadow on it. Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight? I am I, and you are you. Whatever we were to each other, that we still are.'
Sheena, London

Ivan, reading your diary has made me look within myself. You have spoken of some very inner feelings, Thank you. Peace!
Amanda Luckhrust, England

Yours is a story that I will never forget
Rob Grant, UK
Ivan, I have read you column from the beginning and may I echo the words of others by saying what an inspiration you have been over the last three years. I have been humbled by your strength, courage and determination. I can not imagine how difficult it must be facing such an illness; however, I can only hope that I might be able to deal with such a situation as admirably as you have. I can promise you that yours is a story that I will never forget. Thank you for sharing your experience with us.
Rob Grant, UK

Ivan, Thank you for reminding me of what is truly important in life. I feel like I'm losing a close, wise, friend. All the best and take care of yourself.
John, Ireland

Ivan, do you really have to go? Ok, I understand. No, I don't. Please don't go.
Roberto Ricci, Italy

I think that your way to face the tumour will remain an incredible teaching and memory for all my life, long or short it will be. It is true, you have not been defeated. You have been absolutely strong, you are really a wonderful person. Hope you face with serene soul and not too much pain your last battle. I will share your story with all my friends. Thank you. A big hug
Andrea, Italy


Dec 2004 - Jan 2005
Aug - Nov 2004
May-July 2004
Apr 2004
Mar 2004
Feb 2004
Jan 2004
Nov/Dec 2003
April-August 2003
March 2003
February 2003
January 2003
December 2002
November 2002
October 2002
September 2002


News Front Page | Africa | Americas | Asia-Pacific | Europe | Middle East | South Asia
UK | Business | Entertainment | Science/Nature | Technology | Health
Have Your Say | In Pictures | Week at a Glance | Country Profiles | In Depth | Programmes
Americas Africa Europe Middle East South Asia Asia Pacific