Europe diary: Your comments

13 July 2006

In his diary this week, BBC Europe editor Mark Mardell reflects on the difficulty of finding fresh lemon grass in Brussels, the easiness of listening to Radio 4, and expat children's complicated sense of national identity.

Your earlier comments:

As a descendant of a family that's lived in Brussels since before Belgium's independence, I was quite interested by Mark Mandell's commeent on my city. Belgians don't have a strong sense of national identity either, except in times of emergency. Otherwise, they identify more with their city than with their counctry. I am a "Brusseleir" , a European and a Belgian (in that order). Having lived in many places, from Delhi to Rio de Janeiro and New York, I feel that there is a certain "European size" to things that makes me feel as much at ease in the French, Italian, Spanish or Nowegian countryside as I do here. Speaking of the Norwegian coutryside, there is one thing that is sadly lacking here in Brussels: Norwegian "geitost" (goat cheese). How comes you can find it in almost all supermarkets in New York and not at all in Brussels. Lack of Norwegian marketing savvy ? Half the Belgians my wife makes sample the product love it. Mark, please tell your colleague from Aftenposten ! (or maybe Handels of Sjofarts Tidningen...)
john somerhausen, brussels belgium

I have moved and lived in several countries, for 7 or more years in each place. It's often the case that one doesn't miss home much during the first few years. Less so, I think, when one is able to have "day-long trips" home from time to time! A real homesickness and the issue of national identity arises not only from eating different kinds of food, but rather from one's cultural values and attitudes (ways of communicating), which could be different from the natives. This probably takes a longer time to appreciate?
Izumi Fukunaga, London, UK

I moved away from home (which was Belfast) 3 years ago and I will never look back. I haved lived in England, Hungary, Switzerland and have now finally to some degree settled for Sweden. I am often asked the question "Do you get homesick." I am in no way polite or diplomatic when it comes to this question. I answer "No, if I was homesick, I would move home!" The reason I left Northern Ireland was because it is this tiny Island on the western reaches of Europe, but the people there think it is the centre of the Universe. When you return, no one is in the slight bit interested in where you have been! I will still recommend it for an excellent holiday though!
Jonnie Rice, Currently Stockholm, Sweden

Mark Mardell probably doesn't live in Cornwall next to the sea. I travel, spending 6 months in Florida and Germany. I miss the people and I guess in Brussels there are plenty of brits to talk to. But somehow humour doesn't translate and I do miss that. Although I didn't feel the same when I was living and working in London, then to me it could have been anywhere. Working 9 to 5 also gives a different feel. Working in Guernsey, going to town each day in winter wasn't any different to going to any town or city. Yet tourists might regard it as a very pleasant place because they only see the sun and have time to enjoy. Mike Alford
Mike Alford, Cadgwith Cornwall

An Australian ex-pat living in the UK, my feelings are rather similar to Mark's. Mostly I miss friends and family, and sadly it's a bit more difficult for them to visit me. The weather sometimes makes me homesick too, although not in the way I had expected. Winter is bearable; it's the lack of a "real" summer that gets to me. I've made up for it this year though by a trip to the south of France. The final thing that makes me homesick is the lack of "cafe culture" here in England. Again though, I can get a fix for that by travelling to any number of nearby countries for a holiday. Most Aussie food essentials (e.g. vegemite, tim tams) are easy to get hold of here, although I'm yet to find a cherry ripe. It's a bit tricky to find some of the south-east asian ingredients I'm used to, but then again I do live in a rural area. But as I said to start, all these things are relatively minor; what I miss most are people.
Emma, Hope Valley, UK

Being an Indian in the UK, and one who has liven in several cities in India, what I miss is not 'India' as such, but many small things relating to home and family. At the same time, being in a foreign country is an opportunity to travel and see this place, and it will certainly be something that I miss once I return.
Arvind Moorchung, Norwich, UK

It's interesting to wonder why it seems that homesickness never appears when re-locating (at least in Europe). I have lived in Germany now for nearly 3 months, and I had at least expected to have a few days snivelling into a handkerchief. So far I am still waiting, the benefits and the fascinations of being in another country seem to banish the thoughts of homesickness. So long as you can ignore the 200 euro mobile bills, the lack of salad cream and constant drizzle of an English summer, then life as an ex-pat is very recommendable!
Claire Beadman, Darmstadt, Germany

Despite living in Brussels for 3 years, I've still not come to terms with the lack of customer service to which can be added volumes of bureaucracy. You mention the Sunday papers but I'm tired of having to pay 7¿ or 8¿ for the Brussels edition of my favourite Sunday which is far slimmer than the London edition. It is possible to seek out London editions if you have the patience and perseverance of Sherlock Holmes (or Hercule Poirot) so I too have resorted to browsing on-line. But all in all, Brussels is a very pleasant place in which to live and I don't miss much - except friends and family!
Stephen Russell, Brussels Belgium

What I miss from the UK? - Traffic jams, price of petrol, housing costs, NHS queues, etc etc Why does anyone still live there?
Luke, Liege Belgium

I was born in Tanganiyka to a Scottish father and Irish mother. Schooled first in Uganda then Kenya then UK. Univeristy in UK then South Africa. Worked as a journalist from 1977 onwards in Swaziland, Bahrain, Hong Kong, New Zealand, UK, Australia, Hawaii and finally now back in rural County Durham. I miss some things about all the places I have lived and worked, and the other 40-odd countries I've visited. Home is where I happen to be, and friends are scattered around the globe but easily accessible by email, IM and phone. National boundaries are increasingly artificial and xenophones increasingly redundant.
Mike Newlands, Barnard Castle, County Durham, UK

I'm Dutch, but moved to Milan about eight years ago, and have moved to Turin recently. I honestly do not speak to any Dutch people here in Italy at all, and in fact my parents (in Holland) make fun of me when I speak Dutch: I am losing my vocabulary, and make a lot of mistakes. So, I guess I would say I miss interaction with other Dutch people. But more than being a linguistical thing, I miss the point of view Dutch people have on things (politics, culture, anything), that seems to me to be much less passionate, more analytical than what I find here in Italy. I feel I really have to search for other views on news on-line (CNN, BBC, Dutch sites, lately also Arab sites) to get a more complete impression of things. I don't say a more "correct" way, but here in Italy it seems near impossible to get an objective representation of the facts. I guess that is the thing I miss most, after my family, but before everything else, such as Dutch food, foreign (non-Italian) television, Dutch people, the country itself... As for nationality..... I still feel I'm Dutch... I do not have an Italian passport, and do not wish for one...
Gerhard, Turin, Italy

I'm Philippine-born, when, in my twenties, left for Austria. My late Austrian husband was in the foreign service, which meant that we lived in faraway postings like India, THailand, Lebanon,Turkey and Greece - returning to Austria every two postings. I think that what one misses as well are the activities and personal interests that one busied onesself with during one's sojourn abroad. With us it was spending our free time amidst the ancient culture of those countries, being conscious of that, and enjoying being a part of their historical heritage.
marlene, Vienna, Austria

I moved to Luxembourg in 1999 and thought I would miss a lot about England. 7 years later I have to say I agree with the article, in that there's very little I miss, and the things I do, like a decent Chinese or Curry, are a treat when I do visit ENgland. THings are certainly very different, but as said here, you learn to adapt and laugh. (What customer service?!)
Helen, Larochette, Luxembourg

Much of what Mark says rings very true, as we found during our 6 years in Belgium. We lived in Waterloo. I worked at the Commission and my wife worked part time at the European Schools. However, complaining that so much of Belgium is so flat is just too boring - didn't he ever visit the Southern half of the country where flat is unusual and the hilly countryside is spectacularly beautiful. As for a link with the "UK" he should give himself a real treat and visit Stonemanor at the lovely village of Everberg, just a few minutes drive East towards Leuven. They have anything you could wish for from proper Cheddar cheese to full sized turkeys and mincemeat at Christmas. They even have a proper red pillarbox where can post your letters to the UK with English stamps they sell there! I would love to have had the opportunity to meet Mark and discuss the eccentric goings on inside the Commission. I am now retired and still have nightmares over the crazy things that happened in our Unit of DG Research.
Michael L Browne, Tiverton, England

I think circumstances play a great role. I lived in Italy for 8 years. The first few were very tough. Although I integrated well, learnt the language, and enjoyed the lifestyle, the longer I stayed the more 'Anglo-Saxon' I felt. I mean in my approach to politics, literature and many other things, my original identity was reinforced. Having said this, I can't say I missed many things in particular; I think I committed too much energy to integration to even think of what I'd left behind. However, when I returned here, what had once been taken for granted was suddenly precious. It's that old cliché: you go away in order to understand where you come from.
PJ Nasser, Manchester, UK

I am originally from Finland. I miss rye bread, the full rye, really tough sort. Also marinated small herrings in mustard sauce in particular but all our semi raw pickled fish in general. I miss hearing and speaking my angular and onomatopoetic native tongue.An boy I miss snow. Contrary to assumption of semicold climates snow is not wet and cold. When you have crispy, properly cold day of -10 to -15 C snow becomes dry, light, incredibly pretty and lights up the whole scenery.
Hilkka Järvelä, Coventry UK

There's a Thai supermarket on Rue St Catherine in Brussels. There's also Thai supermarkets in Antwerpen and Leuven.
Ian Davies, Leuven, Belgium

Growing up in Kosovo meant more of an localized mentality and not having an idea of what was going on in the world. Its been more that three years now that I moved out and working abroad. I can say that things that I found strange before, meeting people who when asked where do they come from wouldn't have an straight answer, I find perfectly normal now. I think its great if one can have a chance of living, studying and working in different places. These people have a broader sense of how things work, have a better understanding for different cultures and will never have the fear of pushing their boundaries further.
Milot, Abidjan, Ivory Coast

Have to agree with Mark that when living abroad it is helpful to embrace the location rather than dwell on what one may have left behind, the alternative is to perhaps suffer the worst of both worlds rather than the best of the one. The UK has much to commend it but that should not blind one to the benefits of other countries. I lived in Central Europe and the Middle East for extended periods: they were greatly different to what I was used to in the UK, weather, culture, people etc but the pleasure came from the differences. A heavy snowfall that would bring the UK to a standstill, summer temperatures in the high 30s, mountain ranges, deserts....hospitable strangers, different food, drinking without aggression as a natural accompaniement... abroad is different, not necessarily better or worse, just different. I hope Mark continues to enjoy his sojourn in Brussels. Regards Keith
Keith Mackman, Dunmow, UK

I've been an ex-pat for 20 years. You graduate from your locality, town, village to understanding you can be "British" or whatever nationality, then to understanding that the world is yours and you don't need help from incompetent or venal governments - beyond a passport. I live in Bangkok,run my company from Hong Kong and currently work in Central Asia. I can be British when it suits me, or not.... It's a small world but there's lots in it to enjoy. Drop your national identity and become a citizen of the world.
Geoff Bastin, Tashkent Uzbekistan

Mainly it's the little things that we miss from our home country such as a good cup of tea (PG or Tetley are non-existent over here) or a good curry (curry here is simply a spice not a meal served with rice and naan). My main annoyance is that on sundays everything is closed, compared to Britain where we live 7 day weeks; I ask myself all the time "what do Germans do with themselves on Sundays?"
Thomas, Frankfurt, Germany

I lived in Italy for many years. I missed: Most of all, the English language (after some years of never hearing it spoken, one begins to long for it, and one notices how quickly it has evolved as expressions become current, get used for a while by everyone, and are then forgotten; The NHS The civility of public administrations, local government, public bodies, etc. who would (a) answer telephone calls (b) speak politely (c) deal with the matter under discussion; this does not happen in Italy; and yes - Indian food
Tom in London, London UK

After 20 years living outside the UK and more than 10 years since my last visit there is really only one thing I miss - Mentadent toothpaste by Lever Faberge. Friends bring it from the UK, we always buy some whenever we pass through Italy and have bought it in Austria and Germany. We have even hade it "Made in France" but we can not buy it in France! Oh, our favorite cheese is Italian.
John Parry, France

I can fully sympathise with Mr Mardell's view. I am an English masters student, studying at a British university that has a school in Brussels. I've been here for 10 months now, and there is nothing about the UK that I miss. The lifestyle here feels superior to that in the UK, and the countryside, while flat for the most part, does have some beautiful forests, and the further south you go the more varied the landscape. The food is just as good as in the UK, the beer is richer and stronger, the women beautiful (and in slightly better shape) than their english counterparts. Its just a shame about all the dog muck in the street, and the dodgy cobblestones... A small price to pay, though, in exchange for not having to deal with binge drinkers staggering the streets, trying to start fights...
Neil, Brussels, Belgium

Like you, I've missed some things unique to the UK (there you are, even after just 8 months I don't refer to home as England much anymore) but the good bits of Paris and France more than compensate. To quell the occasional twinge of homesickness I've managed to persuade our local Curry house here to provide 'tres epice pour l'Anglais'. Which after a trip to the Cinema to watch Wallace and Gromit in Version Originale, a Kingfisher beer in a dark wood paneled room backlit with coloured fluorescent lighting, is about as close to authentic England as you could want. Vive la différence
Russell Park, Paris, France

I am Australian and have lived in UK and France. I agree with Mark that when I moved to UK and then France, there were little things I missed, but there were always other little joys I discovered in the new country that would overshadow any momentary homesickness. Over time though, you learn that there are deep-rooted cultural aspects of your existence that you never realised you would miss. Like a decent cup of tea. Tea on the continent is universally awful. French washing-up liquid is pretty hopeless too. I travel a lot in Europe and there is so much to discover that I don't really have time to long for the Aussie things I took for granted and left behind without reasoning why...
Graeme Hunter, Redditch, UK

Having spent a half-dozen years in Brussels, everything you say rings very true, and even tugs at my heart strings for the good times I had there. One thing you don't mention is the transitory nature of the place ¿ by the time I left, the only friends still around from when I first arrived were fonctionnaires with a job for life at the Commission; everyone else had moved on elsewhere, as I did in my turn. But I had a wondeful time with friends of all nationalities, and can't say I really missed the UK. Bonne Continuation!
Chris Veness, Cambridge, UK

It's not just British expats who miss the weirdest things -- I'm a South African with a British passport who has spent the last nine years and change living in Taiwan. I can tell you that Bovril is high on the list of "wants" from any of my expat friends when I (or they) go home -- be it the UK, Australia or South Africa. All my South African friends demand "Mrs Ball's" chutney from whichever poor soul is heading back to SA -- a dozen bottles of it in your luggage gets pretty heavy! A good trifle is a definite crowd-puller, as was Bird's Custard Powder. Bird's and Bovril are now available here -- but not Mrs. Ball's.
Brendan Hale, Taipei, Taiwan

I worked and lived in Brussels in 1990. I worked as a Nanny for a family who consisted of English, Portuguese/Swiss. There was a 'Nanny' community which I circulated in, but I have to say, apart from the obvious multi Language differences there was no real difference. It is a multi cultural place and everything was very laid back, apart from the driving. I had a wonderful time there and it taught me independence and acceptance of a multi cultural country and community. We show so much intolerance of our neighbours these days because they are 'different'. But we should look no further than our own doorstep before we cast criticism over other races. While we in Wales argue over the Welsh Language Act perhaps some time out to take a look at the schools and the multi language skills in Brussels. Speaking a language other than your mother tongue is considered an asset rather than a hinderance. It is a matter of choice-pick a language and its spoken. It is a unique experience for children to be brought up where languages are taught from an early age; they show a fantastic understanding of their fellow human beings and explore other cultures with glee.
Alison, Caerphilly

Try the Chinese supermarkets in Brussels' Chinatown. Fresh Lemongrass, other 'Asian' vegetables and spices can be easily found there. Bon appetite.
L.W. Chan, Leiden, The Netherlands

I totally agree with you about not feeling homesick oevr there. I never missed anything (except family and friends) when I lived in Brussels. Brussels is like London, but with the bonuses of a hugely better-integrated transport system, affordable beer and those irresistible waffles...
Toby Smith, Guildford, England

To most of what you write I definitely agree but actually it quite depends also on how long you stay abroad. Experince is so different if you stay only three to six month or if you are somewhere for let's say two years. A very true point is missing friends. Ok, you have emails and videoconference but it is for example this spontaneously stopping by of a friend in the evening what stops a bit the daily routine. Or just having a barbecue in your home's backyard which is a bit of a problem if done at ones hotel-balcony :) Most important question is if one should do this roaming around the world with the kids. They just made friends and you move on. And again, and again. I'm aware it opens up the mind indescribable but it is leading to the described situation that they don't feel home anywhere in the end. Still I would do it again (but I was without kids that time and my (now) wife was able to join me from the beginning. Experiencing these different cultures was/is very rewarding. So long and best regards, Uwe Burk
Uwe Burk, Kerpen, Germany (for now)

Having lived successively in The Netherlands, Germany, France and Spain for much of the last 25 years I've found that the "marmite" etc. are largely symbolic. If you endeavour to make relationships with your hosts and learn their language you cease to be an expatriate. You become a non-national. After all life is essentialy about relationships. The rest merely supports these and fills in the space between.
Harvey Defriend, Cuevas del Almanzora, Spain

Personally I am less bothered about marmite and marmalade and I can even put up with cold beer. Indeed I have found somewhere where canned Ruddles can be bought - the nearest to English beer bit Oh to be able to wash my evening meal down with a glass of Robinson's orange squash.
Jeff Grover, Oakville, Canada

If you haven't found Pak Choy then you haven't looked very far. Maybe you're working too hard. Try going to ChinaTown in Brussels Centre. Specifically the K-Y Supermarket. More fresh oriental goods than you can shake a stick at. Cheers Richard.
Richard Henderson, Brussels

It's true that you tend not to miss things or products, as most of them are easily available here. What I appreciate most when I'm back in "the UK" are intangibles like a general sense of familiarty and comfort with the culture. It was also weird the first time I went back to speak to people in English without having to stop and wonder whether or not they would understand me. Expats have a strange relationship with the "motherland", often romanticising it, sometimes becoming disproportionately critical once they are able to compare it with another country in which they've lived. Things I don't miss include the health service, the binge drinkers making parts of town a no-go area at the weekend, and the variable food quality. But I always love coming back to vist...
simon, Brussels

Also living in Belgium and having nothing what-so-ever to complain about. Radio 4, PG Tips and marmite are all readily available so its just friends and family that are missed!
Hannah, near Leuven, Belgium

I've lived and travelled in various different countries. I spent some time working in The Hague in Holland and while it wasn't the most interesting city, it was only a short train ride away from nicer places. When I eventually got back to London, I missed Holland a lot more than I'd missed the UK. In Australia, I found that the only thing missing was a pint of bitter. They seem to judge beer by its temperature rather than its quality and anything cold is king (VB definitely isn't). In various countries in South East Asia, it was hard to get proper cheese. You saw cheese on many menu's but most of the time it meant Laughing Cow, which is totally unacceptable. We actually found a cafe in Nha Trang, Vietnam run by a bloke from Middlesboro which catered for 'all the things that Brits miss on holiday'. He was doing a roaring trade!
Chris Turner, Hatfield, UK

Like Mark Mardell, I recently returned from living in Brussels. After 10 years outside England and despite frequent trips 'home' I genuinely experienced culture shock on my return. England has become a country run by and for bureaucrats. Shocking as it may sound, rules and regulations are now a bigger part of life on this side of the channel than the rest of Europe. I have found that the usual excuse for the imposition of yet another rule is 'Brussels'. Having lived there, I can say that this excuse is a well-oiled smokescreen. Our home-grown civil servants have extended their grip through thousands of small attacks on liberty. Like Gulliver, the English are now restrained by a myriad of small-minded mental dwarves. What I miss is individual freedom in the land that invented it.
Peter Manolescue, Banbury England

I don't really miss anything from the UK, certainly nothing enough to make me return just yet. The internet and cheap international calls keep friends and family close and HK has a large expat community so life is easy. If I miss anything it would have to be the ease of getting a cab home and the English language in my office, although everyone speaks English they naturally speak Cantonese, therefore unless people talk to me I don't hear anything, the joke told near me or the question not directed at me but which I can help with. That can be a little isolating but really means I should learn Chinese.
Jonathan Partington, Hong Kong, China

Having spent most of my childhood in Belgium before moving "back" to Ireland and subsequently to Spain, my recollection of the expat community in Brussels is one of people either choosing to take the plunge and "go native" or keep oneself deliberately within an ex-pat cocoon. I also think that Mark's remark on the Belgian lack of customer service is a bit unfair, as in my experience is was no better or worse than what I've experienced in the UK or Ireland, and vastly superior to what one can be subjected to in Madrid. The only things I really get a craving for are Salt& Vinegar crisps (everything else foodwise is of a much higher quality).
Fiachra, Madrid, Spain

Try living and working (teaching English) in Taiwan for a year. I was homesick for the entire Western Hemisphere with its knives and forks and proper size beds!
Allan Jardine, Edinburgh, Scotland UK

When I spent some time in Australia the thing I missed most was the British style of pub. The ones I encountered there were too large and too few and far between. Although with the relentless tide of Wetherspoons et al, that situation may well become the norm here too.
Kevin Murphy, Lennoxtown, Scotland

In just over a week I leave the UK to live and work in Gibraltar. I suspect that it's not going to be such a culture shock since it's pretty much the same as any other british town but with nice weather. For this reason, I'm planning to live over the border in spain as soon as possible.
Rob, Taunton, UK

As a Belgian I spent most of my childhood in France and UK, up to an including university. At that time I knew I was neither Britidh nor French, but being Belgian was a difficult notion to define, and the only things I was missing were the real "boudin blanc" and meter-long sausages that my grand mother used to make... I then settled in Belgium for 13 years beofre moving out to France again 6 years ago. So what do I miss now? Well, the real "boudin blanc", the meter-long sausage, and the beer.
Vincent Verschoore, Cluny, France

How refreshing to read Mark Mardell's article - all of it so true. Although, he never mentioned the Euro! Personnaly, I love the fact that as I travel with my job money is borderless - unless I return to the "UK" where the Pound will never be sacrificed. For me it's not about whether one currency is better or worse than another, but simply the sheer conveniece of use. Do I miss anything, no, not really maybe queues and waiting lists in hospitals, perhaps a really good curry, but that's it. Frankly, I think being "European" is a wonderful experience, rich in culture and enlightening friendships. All Brits should try it.
Martin Goodall, Luxembourg

Having lived in Japan for several years some fourteen years ago and living again in Japan now, I can say that the advent of the internet has made the expatriate experience substantially less "foreign" than it was, which is both good and bad, really. The ubiquity of internet vendors has put most items but a click (and costly postage) away, and streaming programming offers an array of entertainment and information sources previously available only through the charity of friends and family back home. The downside is that the very availability of those things we crave lessens the need to find alternatives in the host country which often leeds to unexpected adventure.
Paul, Fukuoka, Japan

For the fresh lemongrass and other Thai ingredients, you could always try the shop attached to the Thai restaurant on Tiensestraat in Leuven (not a million miles from Brussels). Good luck!
SP, Londoner in Belgium

When I worked within the political arena in Brussels, I didn't really miss the food as I thought I might (Ye Olde English Shoppe fulfilled many of those needs) as the restaurants are fabulous! What I craved more was the sense of anonymity I took for granted walking in any major town/city in England- as a) a woman and b) as someone who is not white.
S. Ali, Manchester, England

I worked abroad as a teacher for 8 years and I was always fascinated by children who thought of themselves as British even though they had never lived in Britain and only had 1 British parent. Many children had a very strong sense of identity. Things that I missed when abroad were good vegetarian substitutes for things like sausages and British pubs and pub grub. But having said that, I didn't pine for them, I just looked forward to having them when I returned to the UK!
Sue, UK

I must admit, having lived in Belgium for over half my life (I was born in Britain but have an English father and a French mother) I do not miss the UK in the slightest. Living in Belgium is a fantastic experience. The people are very friendly and the cities and countryside (especially the Ardennes) are beautiful. Wouldn't change it for the world (except maybe Bora Bora).
Ian, Antwerp, Belgium

I feel The Hague is so similar to your comments about Brussels! As an 'expat' who nevertheless has very strong roots from a rural Irish childhood, I wonder about the self identity of my children. The 5 year old was born in London to Irish parents and has lived in London, Houston and Holland so far. She insists she is 'English' - as most of her classmates find their 'from' point to mean birthplace, in the literal sense. A quote, from goodness knows who, claims that ' to give a child wings we need to give it roots' ... does that mean our expat kids will grow up to be rootless and longing for a place to call home, with settled friends?
Linda Murray, The Hague, Netherlands

Having moved in 1988, with my wife and two early teenage sons, to Germany for 5 years I can remember being warned not to hanker for home all the time because when you get back it is not all it is cracked up to be! This was sound advice and every time I started hankering for the local pub I would remind myself how often I had been annoyed by ridiculously strict opening times and dreadful service. That was never a problem in Germany and apart from their awful TV (this was before sattelite) there really were far more positives than negatives. We loved it and a short drive trip to either Holland or Belgium reminded us of the UK if homesickness really kicked in.
Ray Scrivens, Braunston, Northants

As Mark says, globalisation is tangible already. I lived for over 8 years in England and there wasn't much I missed from Barcelona, where I was born and raised, at least for the first few years. After a while, though, I did start yearning for sunshine, people on the streets after 5pm, cheap and good public transport, and fresh produce with some taste in it! I've been back for almost three years and now I am missing certain things from my second home: politeness at the shops, efficiency in any paperwork where the government is involved, proper road signs, proper driving, good wages, queues at the bus stop, NHS, etc. (Don't be surprised: if you came here to live for some time you'd understand. And Barcelona is the best out of Spain...) Wouldn't it be good if I could live in both places at the same time? As for identity, I could write a thesis on that, so I'd better leave it here.
Eva Perera, Sant Pere de Ribes, Spain

Spot on! After a number of years living in Brussels, I have still not got used to the lack of service and I still crave for a decent cup of tea, but Brussels is certainly not a hardship posting!
Nick, Brussels

I was interested in some of the issues you raised in the diary. As an Irish person who has lived in London for the last four years, I've had a lot of time to reflect on my own identity. I think that what I have missed the most is a sense of shared experience and common cultural reference. I can exclaim 'janey mac' in Dublin and everyone will know what I mean. At the same time, English people mention things that I don't know or haven't seen like stuff on the telly. It sounds trite when I write it down but there are so many differences in cultural experiences when you are living abroad.
Amy, Irish, living in London

Cultural difference includes many shades of morality,respect for the law, narrow perspectives and silo mentalities, defence of the status quo, and abilities to account for human values in promoting change. In the "UK" we are capable of all the faults, but the system is self correcting having a comparatively strong legal base. As a consultant working abroad, it is frustrating to find how plans for the future are frustratingly limited by the unreliable and "tribal" social and political order, the weak ethical base, the weakness of the laws and regulations, the poor management structures etc, which provide an unreliable framework in which special interests can grow. I miss the relative but not perfect order in the UK. But like all countries we in the UK also have to be more aware of the cultural and human values that are affected by change.
Donald Hankey, London SE5 8EA

Mark Mardell has hit the nail squarely on the head! Having returned to the UK (quite right! Not Great Britain or England) after three years in Brussels, everything he said resonates with me, in particular Belgian "customer service"... I think sometimes it is too easy to live in Brussels - my French is as bad as it was when I arrived (though I have picked up some Dutch) - and so you do actually end up telling people back home that all you miss is them. What I came to discover (and appreciate) however is that the positive side of the Belgian national character manifested by the questionable "customer service" is demonstrated by a very relaxed and easy-going approach to life... a multitude of high-quality, reasonably-price restaurants... a housing-market that has maintained a grip on reality, to mention a few. And it is a real privilege to actually meet the locals. This is certainly what I will miss about Belgium.
George Pickering, London, UK

Great article on what you miss or rather 'would' miss. I am 22 years old and have oved in Bangkok for the best part of a year.I've been giving teaching English a go. The place is great, so different from Norfolk, where I'm from., the food fantastic, and in general, the people friendly. But I do miss England. I'm not entirely sure what it is. Small things. Such as the common courtesy of holding a door open for the person behind you, or waiting for people to get off the bus before you get on. Small things of manners have gotten on my nerves, sometimes. Thais have a habit of putting the phone down without saying 'goodbye' and I'm left wondering if I got my message across! I work with a very good bunch of 'farangs', from Australia, England and Canada, but outside of the guys I work with I have no real friendship. A few thai friends, but they happen to be women. And the one thai guy who I felt was a 'mate' stung me about 150 pounds. He had some sob story. Foolish me. So I miss the social life where you are not an outsider, as here, a lot goes by looks. I could go on for hours. I know though, the minute I'm back to heathrow, and back on the National Express to lovely ol' Attleborough, Norfolk, I will be yearning to be in some far flung corner of the world!
Fred Southgate, Bangkok, Thailand

I moved from Brighton in England to Malmö in the south of Sweden last year. I moved to live with my friend who I met in Brighton and because I was keen to experience living in another country. I have been learning Swedish and working here now for 10 months. Although I loved living in Brighton where I grew up, I have come to realise that the social climate in Malmö and to a greater extent most of Sweden is wholly preferable to that of Brighton and England. There is a violent, aggressive atmosphere in Brighton which is noticeable whenever I return for visits and by it's omission here. Gangs of teenagers, young single mothers, homeless drunks, dependant beggars and football hooligans have all been replaced by a culturally rich melting pot of hard-working, progressive, socially active people. Of course problems lie beneath the surface like any city in any country, but unlike Brighton where commerce and fun take precendent, it is of high concern here in Malmö that the city looks after its people and itself ahead of self-promotion and wantont self-praise. If it's something concrete about Brighton that I miss, then it is the fish and chip emporiums where I would take a post-beach or friday supper. Something that Malmö hasn't got but I have easily learnt to live without.
Daniel Goody, Malmö, Sweden.

I have been an ex-pat myself-I was abroad with my husband for four years-three in the Bahamas and 9 months in Germany(1977-1981). In Nassau I very much missed Cox`s apples and Cadburys chocolate-as we only had the inadequate American alternatives. At the end of the three years we were gagging for a decent theatre performance and I was keen to get back to Brent Cross shopping centre as we had left London when it was only one year old and very novel. It was lovely every so often to talk to other Brits either ex pats or visitors when you could be sarky, facetious or just downright daft and they would understand exactly what you meant. It could be very hard work indeed to get a message across to anyone else. You just had to adapt and embrace each other culture you met and communicate accordingly. My daughter spent 11 months away in South East Asia and India returning this April and complained that they don`t seem to do humour, or at least our humour. Having lived in Germany I can concur that I did miss that. My son is working in Nigeria for 2 years-he and his American girlfriend are also missing food items-all visitors have to go with at least one huge bagful of nosh. He also misses London and its culture-he was immersed in it for 3 years as he went to university at UCL. I am glad you are not homesick but as you say Brussels really isn`t very foreign and you have a lot of compensations foodwise and location wise. The Belgians have always looked as though they were easy to live with-do they do humour by the way?
Jo Rogger, London England

It is fascinating that the three things that come up in a conversation with ex-pat Brits about what they miss most is beer, cheese and Marmite. I've lived 4 and a half years in India: the first two in the back of beyond in the Himalayan foothills and the the last two and a half in Bangalore. But it's been possible to find all three in some form or another: Marmite is now produced in Malaysia and easily bought here - the label is also translated into Chinese; there are places in the big cities where you can stock up on almost any cheese from anywhere in the world (at vast expense) and there is a local cheese here in Bangalore that has the taste and texture of balloons (but is fine for cooking); and beer - at heart, I am a beer drinker, but the idea of downing a pint of warm English beer in this climate doesn't appeal. My tipple has become whisky and soda since the local whisky is fine and considerably cheaper than the beer (lager). I think the reason we ex-pats use the term "UK" is because we are afraid to refer to "home". Home has become wherever we have moved to - I find the challenges of living abroad obliterate any sense of homesickness to the extent, on the few visits back to dear old Blightey, I yearn to be back in India again. Everything is so easy, flat and unchallenging...and incredibly expensive! A final anecdote on Marmite: finding mould in the lid of the pot was the final straw that made me decide to move on after a depressingly wet monsoon in the Himalayan foothills.
Chris Williams, Bangalore, India

I moved to the south of France in February and can safely say that I don't miss the UK one iota! My 7 year old daughter has integrated into the French school system with ease, and my wife and I have found plenty of work. The people here are so freindly compared to Blighty, where your lucky if your next door neighbour gives you eye contact. The cost of living here has made a huge difference to our lifestyle, and our stress levels. In the UK we were lucky if we could afford to go out once a month for a meal, here we go out about 3 times a week and still manage to save money. Oh and the weather, in the 6 months weve been here its rained 5 times! The only thing I miss, is Halloumi cheese!
funkeh, Bize-Minervois, France

I've been in Brussels a little over 6 years now, and there are plenty of things I miss from the uK. Top of the list? Tetley tea - I always bring loads of it back with me when I can. I miss being able to pop into Boots to pick up a box of Nurofen when I want to. I miss paying decent prices for books and newspapers in English - Amazon do deliver here but you pay a fortune on p&p. I often (sometimes daily) find myself wondering how things get done in this place - not one but THREE governments, all with their mountains of paperwork, triplicated and photocopied a hundred times (slight exaggeration maybe, but not by much). I am continuously frustrated by post offices and banks which close counters at lunch time (the busiest time of the day, or am I missing something?) On the issue of national identity, I was born in the UK so I probably don't have the same issues with what to call myself. Mind you, when I am at work I am English first and British second. When I set foot back in Blighty, I become European (with more than a strong dash of English, I must confess!)
Michelle Gill, Brussels, Belgium

I've lived in Portugal with my Portuguese (part Italian) husband for 18 years, in a rural northern town far away from any supermarkets selling British products. Where I live, there are very few foreigners, so there¿s no cosy ex-pat community to hide in, and I experienced a relentless culture shock for the first few months. It's so different from England that at first I missed everything, but I adapted. I no longer miss anything on a day to day basis, but when I go back I do indulge in fresh cream cakes. I am a foreigner everywhere now. I am no longer English. When I go back home, I find it strange; there are new shops, new habits, new words. I am not Portuguese either, distinguished by being taller and blonder than my neighbours, and when I speak Portuguese I have an accent I can't quite lose. However, my Portuguese friends and family tell me I am one of them. That¿s the greatest compliment of all. But I don't mind being a foreigner everywhere; I feel European, not English; I've gained insight, understanding, flexibility. I wouldn¿t swap my view of the river Tamega and the vine-covered hillsides for all the tea and scones in England. As for my (bilingual) children; well, they were born here and have lived here all their life, but they feel partly English, have English names, and have been brought up on a diet of English nursery rhymes and stories, and visits to and from England. However, I think if they were to live elsewhere, they would experience as much culture shock as I did.
Teresa Pole Baker Gouveia, Marco de Canaveses, Portugal

Mark is right in that the few things you may miss from the UK , are readily available in lots of places around the world. I can buy marmite & weetabix almost anywhere, Twining's teabags (albeit a bit pricey), I can watch British TV via a satellite dish, buy British newspapers which are printed here, listen to London radio stations on the internet... if I want to. However I have a Spanish partner so do not live a ghettoed, ex-pat life like many here, and enjoy reading the much more factual and honest Spanish newspapers, chatting with the lady on the bread counter in the supermarket, and not having to listen to interminable references to a cup that was won 40 years ago and a war that finished over 60 years ago. The English seem to have an inferiorty complex that they keep needing to remind people of these events from history to try and justify themeselves. You/we have a great country with a great people, live in the present, you have nothing to prove. Back to spain, the climate here is wonderful, the wine cheaper, lovely fish, great cheeses, beautiful countryside, tons of history and culture, a much lower crime rate and on top of that we get to go to the beach most weekends. I´m sorry Britain but the only thing I miss about the old country are my friends and family.
John Wilkings, Benahavis, Spain

I moved to Morocco in January, I live in the mid Atlas Mountains, and snow fell the day I arrived and lasted until mid March, so at first I missed cheap gas central heating! I missed my daily paper, but have recently discoverd it online, for the same price as buying it everyday. It is the exact version of the newspaper and looks like a newspaper in layout. With free telephone calls via Skype on the internet to family and friends, I talk to my mother even more than when I lived a few miles away. There isn't much else I miss, my journey to work is now 5 minutes (unless I cycle on the quiet roads) instead of over an hour in the car. There is hardly any traffic, the air is clean and unpolluted. The fruit and vegetables and cheap, plentiful and full of flavours you never get in a UK supermarket. I am not near any large shops, but it means I have savings for the first time in years. Instead of dreading the supermarket shop, it is now a monthly treat.
Julie , Ifrane, Morocco

Your final comments in this article about identity struck a cord. As someone who was born and educated in Dublin of English father and Irish/German mother, who moved to London aged 20, then to Brussels aged 29 and then moved back to the UK (I still say it!) aged 46 I too have no strong feeling as "belonging" to one country. My son, now at university, was born in Belgium and spent his first 11 years there in the international community. He thought he had been sent to prison having to put up with the rules and uniform of an independent school when we returned here. He too has no strong ties. This lack of identity is a double edged sword - on th epositive side it allows one to be far more open to differences and to learn from then without being constrained by national culture but negatively it causes one to be far more critical of life whether here in Bristol or back in Brussels. So it is my wife, who was born in England, spent 23 years in Belgium, who cheers for the England team, no matter what the sport! Like you, we missed very little and tried to explore the differences, not just in Belgium. However there is one thing we did miss - english speaking theatre - the Comedy Club was not really a substitute although they do put on some good theatre. Good to hear other people's views of Belgium.
Colin Butterworth, Bristol UK

My father is English and my mother is a Kiwi (I have both passports) and I grew up in England. However, I follow New Zealand's political affairs closely (it seems to have become a bit boring since the election last September). During the election, there were all sorts of colourful events, including someone registering his dog as an elector and Keith Locke promising that he would run naked in the street if his rival won. I feel comfortable with my multiple identity and enjoy ranting about Kiwi politics.
Graeme Phillips, Guildford, UK

I am one of these multiple identity children described in your diary, sometimes I like to confuse people with it. But I have given it a long and hard tought and found that that part of my identity that deals with national identity is simply European, I am a European, no adds or removes. The sometimes agressive and insulting reaction I recieve from some native English or their plain disbelive regarding my statement when asked where are you from responding Europe, based in London, makes me feel a little bit bitter for a people that has obviously not come to peace with that part of their identity that is their own collective memory.
Michael, London

Both of my parents and the rest of my family are english, in particular from lancashire. However I was born in South Africa, moved to england when i was 6 months then emigrated to Australia when i was 5 and have lived in PNG for 2 years when i was 7 and 8. I just recently received my Australian Citizenship, however I also hold a Briish Passport and nationality as well and I will never give that up. I am constantly asked the question by my friends what am I? and to be honest I have no idea! I have strong ties to england and have visted there quite a few times since I emigrated. I class myself a British Australian and a member of the commonwealth... thus when it comes to supporting teams... I was jumping around with glee when england finally retained the ashes!!!!
james blackburn, brisbane Australia

I'm half Danish, half-American, was born in Sierra Leone and brought up in Wales and Singapore (amongst other places). Despite this national schizophrenia, I've felt culturally British for most of my life, and increasingly so following University in London and marriage to the English girl I met at the International School I attended. I finally took the plunge last year and got naturalised as a British subject.
Andrew Agerbak, Harrow, Greater London

I am a fourth generation Argentine, my great grandparents having settled there from Scotland. As a child, due to my father's work, I lived in Uruguay, Canada, Cuba, Brazil and Peru before I finally moved to the UK, where I spent 35 years, on and off. I am now retired and living in France. I have no problem with my national identity. I am an Argentine to the core. I do miss things from Argentina. The beef more than anything, but also mate, alfajores, dulce de leche and the Sierras de Cordoba. But I also miss snorkelling in Cuba, surfing in Peru, skating in Canada, the violence in Brazil and Punta del Este in Uruguay. And now a good pint of bitter. These things I miss, but I also believe that I have a far better understanding of different peoples and a much greater tolerance of their ways than perhaps others who have not had the good fortune to have lived in more than one country. Had Bush spent some time in the Middle East in his early years would he still be acting as foolishly as he currently does? Well...probably, but you know what I mean.
Malcolm McLeod, Tourouzelle, France

The term 'expatriate', to my mind, is often misused. An expatriate is someone who by definition is away from home, presumably with the intention of returning some day to their place of origin. A person who has moved to another 'country' on the other hand is in essence a 'migrant', although this term may also need caution as it can be somewhat derogatory in today's climate. Even so one, after 20 years in a place where one had not been born can correctly be called neither an 'expatriate' nor a 'migrant' any more than one could be labelled as such when moving from one region to another within the territory of one's own 'political demarcation'. Moreover, as a European from the UK, I don't feel anymore a foreigner here in Belgium than a Belgian does. I certainly don't feel as though I'm compelled to identify myself and fraternise with Americans and Aussies simply because we share the same language and Anglo-Saxon heritage. My country is Europe! In essence, different 'cultures' doesn't necessarily mean different 'countries', it can also mean different regions. This is particularly true for Europeans who enjoy unrestricted freedom to live and work anywhere and even take part in local issues at the political level within the EU. It'd be absurd for example to say, 'you have the right to live and work here, but not criticise the way we do things here'.
OD, Brussels, EU

I was born and brought up in Brussels, went to a multilingual school and returned to the UK for university. Whilst still at school I felt I had a strong connection to some sort of British identity, but three years of actually living in Britain has rather disabused me of such notions. Were I now to feel any attachment to Britain, it would be tinged with something approaching shame and horror at the general inward-looking culture, the petty nationalism and the American-style materialism. All of this may exist on the continent, but not to the same extent, nor with the same virulence, at least not in my experience. As for my not having any notion of national identity, I can only think of this in a positive light. I do not feel tied down to approving of some one set of cultural or historical artefacts or events because they are "mine", and more importantly I believe it allows me to consider people purely as individuals more easily, without the need to pigeonhole them. I think that rejection of national identity grants one a much better access to a much more important sort of identity, someone's identity as a person.
Peter, Brussels

The child's national identity is an interesting topic I again stumbled about during the recent football world championship. My five year old son is born in Mexico, has an Austrian mother, a Dutch father, and visits the French lycee in Belgium. In order to not fully deprive him from - what some of us see as an indispensable - feeling of national pride, I have bought Vincent an original but oversized orange team shirt and put him next to me on the couch during the first game against Serbia. Although we won the match, the effect was lost on my son and he did not join me in the celebrations. He also lost interest in the shirt. I'm going to give him two more years and then we'll visit a match together during the European championship (in Vienna!). That shirt will certainly fit him better by then.
Peter de Heer, Brussels, Belgium

Re: children's identities. There's a wonderful book, "Third culture kids," that addresses the issues for children who live internationally. When my daughter (half-British, half-American, lived in France and Mexico) read it she found great comfort, for someone was able to describe the feelings that she had experienced.
Marcia A. Grant, living in Karachi, Pakistan, American, with long-term residence in France

National identity is important even for those kids who don't identify with just one group. My kids are Polish and American from my side and Bulgarian from my wife's. If you ask my son (7), he will tell you that he is all three, with no preference for any of them, but that doesn't mean his identification is any less earnest or less emotional than that of his single-nationality friends. My daughter (6), on the other hand, says she's Polish, though on a good day she'll admit to being Bulgarian and "English" - because that's the language we speak. Her Bulgarian grandparents try to instill her with a sense of Bulgarian nationality, but so far to little avail. Personally I'm not worried about her identification as long as she's comfortable with it herself.
Simon Cygielski, Warsaw, Poland

My friends and I have the same problem with lack of identity but it doesn't bother us that much. If we need to give a short answer for what we are we just say 'european'
Tom, Brussels

As an Irish man married to a japanese woman who hails from tokyo city centre I can fully sypathise. We live in a small village in the french alps and the feeling of being cut off from your roots is actually quite breathtaking at times. As for my children, when asked what nationality they are my children proudly respond "I am me", grammatically not very correct however they are very proud when they say it, they live in a nation of one.
Aidan Boyce, Aiguebelle, France

I've lived in America for 30 years now, and my "misses" are strictly of the culinary type, and they in fact are very few - hot custard (not the US cold goop) with apple crumble, and grilled kippers.
Michael Anisfeld, United States