10 MEMORABLE HOMER SIMPSON QUOTES
• "To alcohol! The cause of - and solution to - all of life's problems!" • [Reading computer manual] "To start, press any key. Where's the 'Any' key?" • "Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try."
• "I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life. Number 1: Cover for me. Number 2: Oh, good idea, Boss! Number 3: It was like that when I got here." • "I have feelings too - like 'My stomach hurts' or 'I'm going crazy' • "Sensitive love letters are my specialty. 'Dear Baby, Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: you.'" • "Pffft, English. Who needs that? I'm never going to England." • Homer: "Well, he's got all the money in the world, but there's one thing he can't buy." Marge: "What's that?" Homer: [thinks] "A dinosaur." • Marge: "Homer, the plant called. They said if you don't show up tomorrow don't bother showing up on Monday." Homer: "Woo-hoo! Four-day weekend!" • "D'oh!"
10 MEMORABLE BLACKBOARD QUOTES
• I will not yell 'She's dead' during roll call. • I will not surprise the incontinent. • SpongeBob is not a contraceptive. • My butt does not deserve a website. • Fish do not like coffee. • I will not laminate dog doo. • Frankincense is not a monster. • The capital of Montana is not "Hannah". • Silly string is not a nasal spray. • Nobody reads these anymore.
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