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Last Updated: Sunday, 13 May 2007, 15:29 GMT 16:29 UK
'The worst show in living memory'
Author Tim Moore wrote a book, Nul Points, about acts which failed to score at the Eurovision Song Contest.

He told the BBC News website what he thought of this year's competition, won by Serbian singer Marija Serifovic, and particularly the performance of UK quartet Scooch, who finished joint 22nd out of 24.


I actually thought Flying the Flag by Scooch was a fine song in the true tradition of Eurovision.

Yes, it was a bit cheesy, but it was frothy, bubble-gum stuff.

I thought it had all the ingredients for a good Eurovision song - but perhaps a good Eurovision song in 1996, and that was probably where we went a little bit wrong.

Generally speaking over the past few years, the big four - the UK, France, Spain and Germany - have been right down at the bottom at the end so this was not unexpected. But I think it deserved to do much better than it did.

Irish act Dervish
The only act to score fewer points than Scooch was Ireland's Dervish
Scooch had a catchy tune, but all the other ones tended to blend into a big, forgettable morass of power-ballads and soft rock.

Really it was dreadful - I thought it was the worst Eurovision in living memory, frankly.

What depressed me about it was encapsulated quite neatly by the Serbian girl who won.

When she said, 'I listen to music - I don't want to watch it, I want to listen to it,' then I thought she'd completely missed the entire point of the Eurovision Song Contest.

At one point, Morrissey was linked to the search for a British entry
As I discovered when I was writing Nul Points, you could tell who was going to score nul points with the sound turned off, frankly, because it was all to do with how they moved, what they wore and their body language, rather than the quality of their songs.

Britain's whole attitude to Eurovision is based on the assumption that if we put in the effort, we'll win it, because we invented pop music - that's our stuff.

But at the same time, it's a moot point, as was proved when Morrissey very nearly appeared and then didn't, because it's a hiding to nothing.

It hasn't launched anyone's career for a very, very long time, and it could turn someone into a laughing stock.

Eurovision winner Marija Serifovic
Marija Serifovic's victory means the 2008 contest will be in Belgrade
If Robbie Williams entered it and came fifth or something, that would be the end of his credibility.

As far as the voting is concerned, maybe there should be two separate Eurovisions, which are screened in the west and the east, with a sing-off for the top finishers in each one at a united competition.

Maybe you should go back to a jury system and not have telephone voting because it's not a poll on the songs any more - it's very political, and more like a poll on how many aunties you happen to have in Montenegro.


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