Friday, 19 November, 1999, 21:53 GMT
CD Review: Five

Five: Invincible boy band?

By the BBC's Chris Charles

Teenage girls have never had it so good.

Everywhere you look there's a new crop of heart-throbs popping out of the highly polished woodwork - from pop stars to footballers, soap stars to tennis idols.

Boy band turned bad: Five

But while there's still a market for the squeaky-clean brigade - step forward the likes of Westlife and Adam Rickitt - there's a new generation of hunks causing anxious dads everywhere to tear out what remains of their once-flowing locks - the bad boys.

David Beckham and Robbie Williams are setting the not-so-moral standards for the 21st century brat-pack. Another Level have picked up a few bonus points after their run-in with Mark Morrison. Even Gary Barlow has resorted to "shocking" front page confessions in a bid to revive his flagging career. Well, you can't blame a man for trying.

Menacing stares

And then there's Five. Fresh from their first UK number one, these crazy kids appear on the cover of their second album looking more like messed-up Marines than pop cuties, complete with five o'clock shadows, bare arms and menacing stares.

And for the opening three minutes of the smugly-titled Invincible they almost pull it off, thanks to the hopelessly infectious If Ya Gettin' Down - a mean and moody chant that owes much of its success to the classic Coldcut sample.

By the time the chart-topping Keep On Movin' kicks in, though, the mask has started to slip and the predicted descent into boy band business-as-usual territory gathers momentum.

Don't Wanna Let You Go tries to sound tough ("We're coming after you, so don't make a sound"), but falls at the first hurdle and what follows is a succession of sickly-sweet ballads, broken up only by a passable cover of Queen's We Will Rock You, complete with Brian May, and the East 17-like Two Sides To Every Story.

Sugary nonsense

5ive: How long can they stay top of the pops?

Take the title track for instance, which easily collects the end-of-the-century gong for cheesiest lyrics - "Like sunshine after rain, I'm on my own again". Oh dear.

The tragedy is that when they choose to rip up the tried, tested and bewilderingly successful boy band blueprint and concentrate on utilising their assets, Five aren't really that bad.

The irreverent Mr Z ("He used to have a mini, but he's six feet four, now Mr Z don't want it any more"), features commendable rapping and a comical, singalong chorus backed by easy beats and a backward guitar track that has you hooked on first listen. See, it's easy when you make the effort, lads.

Their rapping abilities again stand out on How Do Ya Feel and Everyday, but on each occasion the promise is broken by an unfathomable desire to revert back to sugary nonsense.

OK, Five are on top of the world for the moment, but as this current crop of girl fans get older, so their sell-by-date draws nearer.

If they really want to be taken seriously, Five must abandon lyrics like "we're still number one, see we shine like the sun" - which ironically appear on a track called Serious - and play up to their strengths.

If not, these part-time soldiers will soon find themselves in the Mark Owen retirement home for teenpop also-rans. We'll see how tough they are then.