The Invisible Friend: Your views

Arnold says she has always wanted to be a writer

Louise Arnold was the winner of our writing competition, Are You the Next JK Rowling? last month for her opening paragraph of a children's ghost story.

The 24-year-old drama student from Canterbury, Kent, won the chance to have a short story published on BBC News Online.

An excerpt from The Invisible Friend will be revealed once a day, with the final instalment on Friday.

So what did you think?

Is it good enough to get published? What do you like about the story?

BBC News Online users sent in their views.

Amazing story, great work - have told everyone I know to read it. Good luck and get published!
Charlie Curtis, UK

I enjoyed it. I don't normally read children's books and have only read two pages of a Harry Potter book before having to put it down. So, I wouldn't know if there are any similarities, but over all I liked Louise's style of writing and her characters. I would most likely read a novel version. I believe her book would do well, if she chose to publish.
Teri Hearin, USA

I thought the story showed great promise. There were some lovely turns of phrase and a whole host of imaginative and original ideas which I'm sure Miss Arnold would explore and develop more if she was having a go at doing a whole novel.

The laundry baskets all linked together reminded me of Terry Pratchett's 'L' space but I think this is a case of one writer inspiring another rather than plagiarism. With a gift for language, and more importantly being able to churn out so many interesting new ideas I bet we will be hearing a lot more of this talented young writer.
Neil Coward, England

Imaginative, well written and very well thought out. Pure Louise Arnold! More please.
Annette, UK

The strength of Ms. Arnold's story manifests itself in the prevalent problems or dilemmas of every human being in the world - alienation/acceptance, individualism, etc. For sure, The Invisible Friend will enjoy worldwide readership among young and adults alike. Now, I'd like to believe that these naughty ghosts are really responsible for my missing socks, keys, books etc. Louise is so convincing! PUBLISH THE BOOK! PLEASE...
Andy Tejada, Quezon City, Philippines

I very much enjoyed the story, I hope the entire thing gets published someday so I can continue reading it!
Beth Anne, USA

Brilliant! Wonderful storytelling. Amazing and fresh use of words to describe details and to set the mood of a scene. Continue work like this and you will have a long and excellent career ahead of you. I will remember your name and will look for anything you may publish. Hopefully that will be soon...
Julie, USA

Brilliant story. Ms. Arnold truly has talent and should become a professional writer.
Christina, UK

I'm 53, concerned with children, and I'm hooked. When can I buy the book for myself and my nieces and nephews? It keys in with issues that kids are concerned about and treats them seriously and imaginatively. How much more could one hope for in a book for children! Best of luck with publishing.
Joanne Hall, USA

Excellent story - the last two episodes where particularly gripping, I would definitely buy the book Dave, UK

Excellent! Very good twist to enable Tom to become aware of Arthur's existence. I'd like to read the rest as soon as it's published.

Perhaps BBC could publish the rest of Louise's store as a serial online? I've really enjoyed reading bits every day.
Amy, USA

I found it very addictive. Once you start reading you're hooked. Couldn't help but feel for the two main characters. It would make an excellent children's TV series. Look foward to seeing her work in the future.
Andre Crompton, UK

Congratulations for being chosen.Keep it up! It's a lovely idea and everyone can fall for Grey Arthur. I like the blurred at the edges bit and the ear to ear (literally) smile. It could also be nice if you changed a few bits and pieces and turned it into a read aloud story for 4 to 6 year olds. There could be lots of lovely sound effects depending on who's doing the reading-out.

Never mind the critics, just carry blithely on. Reading a lot of children's books does help when it comes to style and atmosphere etc. But if you can't read too much due to dyslexia, invest in as many audio children's stories as you can. It is the next best thing to actual reading and might be a good idea. Good luck!
Noshi, England

A great start to a soon to be published book I hope! Keep up the good work! It's sad that we British tend to trash our own national talents. I'm sure if you were, say, American, you wouldn't be receiving anywhere like as much negative criticism. It's one thing the American's seem to do well - encouraging their stars.
Neilo, England

The fact that I wanted to read every instalment as it came out says a lot. I thought the story was clever and I would definitely buy it with a view to reading it to my boy assuming the rest of the story is as good! Never read JKR so can't comment - who cares anyway, why can't the story be taken on its own merit?
Dan, UK

Excellent story - the last two episodes where particularly gripping, I would definitely buy the book. The sooner it gets published the better - JK look out!
Dave, UK

Loved it, will keep an eye open for it in the shops.
Christine, Kent, England

Well done Louise, I enjoyed your story and my twelve year old son has thoroughly enjoyed it, although he has not read the last instalment yet. Do not listen too much to the critics, most of them have never achieved a single creative thing in their lives.
Matthew Parris, England

Publish, publish, please do as quick as possible. I gotta know what happens next!!! Just read the fifth excerpt and I personally think it's great. Look forward to seeing it in the bookshops, just think of the adventures Tom and Grey Arthur could get up to.
Garry Smith, UK

I love the style of this and it's a nicely set up premise. Looking forward to reading more!
EJ, England

Brilliant! All five parts were excellent, and I did feel an emotional attachment to the characters - which is more than I can say for some authors who have thousands of pages to do the same, let alone 1000 words. Superb. Well done Louise.
David James, UK

Good on you Louise, I wish I could write as well as you Richard Sinclair, Scotland

My children and I enjoyed your story, yes of course it should be published. Presented in a way that made the reading flow more, with good art work, The Invisible Friend will be a popular chlidren's book.
Jan W, England

I agree with Andy! It should be published and the BBC should make a cartoon. I think those putting the story down may be showing their age a little! The story is great but for kids. I don't think Miss Arnold captures as wide an audience as JK but for a first attempt it's great.
Gemma, Scotland

When do we get to read the book???? Loved it.
Lynne Murray, UK

I can't believe the criticism and disparaging remarks being made by certain people who go on to offer all sorts of advice (most of which appears to be an attempt to show how clever they are). Give us a break! The story is wonderful and I loved it.

I am a big Harry Potter fan but I don't feel the need to compare this with JK Rowling's work.

It seems very well written to me but, then again, maybe I'm not as clever as some of the other commentators/advisers.

Good on you Louise, I wish I could write as well as you.
Richard Sinclair, Scotland

Lou - nice writing, I'm looking forward to final instalment. I am sending the link over to my niece and nephew, they will love it.
Yonisan, UK

Although I can understand a child being interested in this story, I can see no difference between this and many other children's stories of this type. Surely it is down to the individual child as to what is good or bad? I feel that the success of the Harry Potter books is now mainly due to the media hype surrounding them.

I read a book in my my childhood that followed a very similar story about a young witches and wizards school by Anthony Horowitz. I tried to read the first Potter book but could did not get passed the first chapter. I should however point out that I read Roald Dahl's The Witches the other day and still found it an enthralling read at 24 years old. What is so special about JK Rowling and Harry Potter?

Nicholas Clifford, England

Your characters are vivid and have kept me wanting to find out more about them Barry, UK

Very promising writer. Without jumping through hoops to put her mark on the characters she has immediately defined a style and delivery all her own. Ignore the negative comments below, they are quite unfounded.
Paul, UK

It's a bit dull really.
Jamie, aged 13, UK

It should certainly be published - there are many vanity publishers who would be pleased to receive Ms Arnold's story and money to print this. Perhaps if she were to true to her own voice rather than being so entirely derivative there could be something more to recommend this story. As it is, what is original is not good, and what is good is not original.
Luke, UK

Since this is Louise's first published story - the advantage of more seasoned writers being the time spent before publication in improving their art - it should receive only encouragement in such a forum as this. I hazard an educated guess that those critical of her talent are frustrated writers themselves, possibly even losing entrants in this competition.

Talent for a writer, as with any other artist, exists at first in a propensity toward the imaginative. It is evident that Laura has this requisite level of imagination. All that remains for her to do is to dedicate herself to learning the art-form. At 24-years-old Laura has all the advantages of having age on her side.

If I had any advice to give Laura it would be this. Do not to listen to any of the bad criticism. You'll have plenty of time for that later in your career! What you have already achieved is commendable. But if you are serious about writing then learn your trade through the best resource available: other writer's books.

First read a book to enjoy it, then re-read to learn from it: learn style, learn narrative, learn characterisation. Through this process you will learn the mechanics to complement your palpable imagination, fusing talent with skill. I sincerely wish the very best of luck!
Don Chapman, England

I love it. I can't understand why people are labelling it as a Harry Potter wannabe. It's well written and I'll certainly be recommending it.
Rachael, Durham, UK

Please ignore some of the destructive criticism voiced, clearly some people have very poor imagination. Your characters are vivid and have kept me wanting to find out more about them!
Barry, UK

Clever sentences but didn't grab me. A bit all fur coat and no knickers. Quite bleak and unfinished, well that's my opinion on the latest Harry Potter, now this story is pretty good. Please don't kill me manic HP fans.
Sarah Woolley, UK

Don't know if I'd rate it as the new JK Rowling, but that's not necessary. The story stands on its own Sharron Miller, USA

Liz Burgin (below) is so right, today's part shows how similar to Harry Potter this is.
Susan Cowling, UK

It felt like I'd gone back in time 20 years, reading CS Lewis books. I'd like to see more comments from the children who have read it, I bet they loved it.

I hope there's more clowning around in the next part!
Shotteh, UK

I think some of the comments here comparing Louise to Ms Rowling are unfair. She won a competition associated with the name and somehow this gives the people the idea she's trying to copy the Harry Potter books. The story Louise has started to write may have similarities but is in no way "another HP clone". Perhaps those who think so should remain silent until Friday?
K McGettrick, UK

Wonderful. I want my grandchildren to read it.
Michael Fairchild, United States

This story is absolutely wonderful, I had a great time reading it and I wish you the best of luck and hope in the future, ignore the negative comments and proceed with confidence, you have a lot of talent, make sure you put it to good use!
Jason Walker, England

Not bad, not bad at all. I felt the first paragraph was a little slow, but you become interested in what is going to happen next very early on. I would say publish. Don't know if I'd rate it as the new JK Rowling, but that's not necessary. The story stands on its own and shows great promise. I'm very interested in what comes next.
Sharron Miller, USA

I'm Clowneh's biggest fan!
Kippa, England

This second part is great and begins to build nicely on the "other world" established in part one.

What first struck me was the intelligent and imaginative twist on everyday ideas. As much as I hate to compare, but Terry Pratchett, Douglas Adams and now Louise Arnold all pull this off beautifully.

What strikes me now is how easily this story could be read to a two-year-old, and enjoyed by everyone of any age, and that's truly rare. The innocent, imaginative non-patronising tone and flow is superb. I'm looking forward to the rest of the story. Well done, Louise. Sincerely.
Robin Whiting, England

My six-year-old daughter loves it and is eagerly anticipating today's installment at bedtime. I must thank Ms Arnold for making bedtimes a pleasure instead of a chore for at least one week! Kirsty, UK

Though there are some promising bits of cleverness, Ms Arnold seems so anxious to prove herself that much of the tone comes off as annoyingly twee and smug. Trotting out one clever-clever type of ghost after another, without furthering the plot much, made one lose patience rather quickly.

Despite having been quite impressed with the opening paragraphs, one can't help feeling that the author has spent her best ideas there, as the story becomes less and less rewarding to read as it progresses.

In addition, once we actually come to the character of the human boy with whom the ghost wishes to befriend, he receives less character development than the "faintly real" lady ghost who hangs about in the Citizen's Advice Bureau (which was quite amusing).

With work, this piece could be quite promising, but Ms Arnold must concentrate on plotting and characterisation, ban other writers' literary voices from her head, and develop her own style. She's some lovely ideas,and it would be marve! llous to see her actually sustain them over more than a few paragraphs.
M Berry- Cross, UK

I like the idea of the Ghost World and all the different kinds of ghost. Grey Arthur's a very appealing character - anyone trying to choose a career or a place to fit in should identify with him. I'll be back for the rest of the week to read more.

Before you can get it published I think you need to learn not to talk down to your readers - good children's books do it less than you think. Once you develop the plot more, you'll be able to scatter your interesting set up details around instead of presenting them all in a lump, and this will also improve the story.

Don't worry about similarities to Harry Potter. I don't think there are that many. Do the story your own way. Some ideas will overlap but you are imaginative enough to come up with a fresh take on them.
Eleanor Joslin, UK

If Louise can really develop her characterisation and more original ideas I can see her doing very well, as the style of her work is fresh Siobhan, UK

The excerpt radiates mediocrity (if indeed that were possible) in its style and content. While there are one or two interesting choice phrases, Ms Arnold's technique appears to be too contived and lacking in style, failing to captivate one's attention.

The content is in the same vein as the stories of many writers before Ms Arnold, however, judging by the influx of similarly-themed stories (of any theme) presently in the market, she may be able to market the book. After all, many people enjoy a bit of light reading, as it doesn't take up very much time, being easy to skim through and hardly requiring any pondering.
Anon, UK

Mrs Scruffles sounds great. I want to meet Mr Scruffles!
Rory MacTrog, Scotland

Brilliant! Can't wait for the rest of the story to appear.

This woman will go far.
David James, UK

The tempo of the story reminds me a lot of Roald Dahl, that very easy-to-read style that appeals to kids everywhere. My own son Barry, world's ahead of me in what makes a good children's story, enjoyed the first day's excerpt and will be tuning in to see how the story progresses.
Kevin Pascoe, England

Caspar the Friendly Ghost?
Sue, Netherlands/UK

Not bad at all! There's some excellent ideas in it, and it's very original - definitely good enough to be published!
Sardonyx, England

I have to say that I did not feel the shivers down my spine I sometimes get when reading a particularly fantastic opening page. I found most of the stories sent into the competition focused on a very similar theme of introducing the reader to some sort of magical/supernatural world or creature that was hitherto unnoticed by "normal" humans. This story is no different and did nothing for me.

However, JK Rowling wrote several short children's stories before hitting the big time with HP. If Louise can really develop her characterisation and more original ideas I can see her doing very well, as the style of her work is fresh.
Siobhan, UK

The reading is light enough, so it would certainly suit the young readers. It pushes on a subject that people don't wish to understand and so trivialising and creating wit around it may well do for ghosts what Rowling and Sabrina the Teenage Witch did for sorcery and witchcraft.

As far as publishing is concerned; well, all I can say is that there are some absolutely dreadful novels out there, which have only been published because of who you are or who you know. If getting your writing published was based on literary merit then this woman would find it easy.

It deserves publishing, however, publishers and publishing agents are a fickle breed who seem to never take risks on newcomers and for the most part can't be bothered reading submissions.

Good luck Louise Arnold. Based on what you've written you deserve to get it printed.
Pete Masterman, England

It's fine to be complimentary, but really this writing is not a patch on JK Rowling Sue Cowling, UK

Although I am in my late twenties I thoroughly enjoyed the excerpt from Louise's book and think it should be published - kids will love it.
J Bull, UK

Just the right mix of scatalogical bum and poo jokes and non-threatening fantastical elements. I think she's on to a winner if she tightens up her plotting to keep the story moving forward.
Willie Meikle, Scotland

Great use of imagery and humour. Loved the idea of the ghost world sitting on our world like butter on a toast. Well done!
Laura, UK

Not a bad story, can't really see it getting published without the assistance of the BBC. But why compare her to JK Rowling, she is an aspiring author in her own right? Comparisions like these just prejudice the reader into thinking she is trying to copy her style and ideas.
Anon, UK

I have 3 words to say, GET IT PUBLISHED.
Ahmad Hasan, Pakistan

This story has a lot of energy and flair; I'm not sure Monday's style of overture can be sustained for another four days though, so I'm looking forward to seeing the plot take shape. Well done Louise! You have a real talent to come up with wonderful and unique turns of phrase. (As one of the also-rans in the competition I think the right person won; the fact that there was clearly "more where that came from" shone through clearly in the opening paragraph).
Tim G, UK

Very fresh, easy, clear and witty.Deserves publishing. Would make a short interesting tele-movie. Kudos Miss Arnold.
SS Reddy, India

I think this is a wonderful story! The first excerpt deals with the feeling we all have from time to time of "fitting in". The issues of who we are as individuals and what our place in the world not often expressed with so much acceptance. We live in a world where our roles and what is expected of us changes so rapidly, it's refreshing to read a story that deals with "Be Yourself".

I truly hope this young woman will be published and share her talent.
Aislinn FireHorse, USA

I find her writing very refreshing. The character Grey Arthur reminds me a little of an "invisible friend" that I had when I was very young. Anything dealing with ghosts is a good thing.
Lucien Desar, Ireland

It's fine to be complimentary, but really this writing is not a patch on JK Rowling and it is an insult to say it is.
Sue Cowling, UK

Just another wannabe with nothing that makes it stand out from the others Liz Burgin, England

A very promising opening, well written and instantly engaging - I want to read more (roll on Tuesday)!
Simon B, UK

Louise can quickly bring your imagination back to life and heighten your senses through her choice of words. I look forward to reading the rest of her story.
Brian Abney, USA

Enjoyed this first part very much and looking forward to reading more. Wonderful job.
H Hartman, USA

I really enjoyed the opening excerpt of this story and I know this would have appealed to my children when they were younger. They loved alternative "other world" fiction. I definitely think there is a great children's story here that should be published. I also believe that one of the reasons Harry Potter is so universally appealing both to adults and children is because it addresses the struggle between good and evil which occurs in all of us at different levels living in this world. Keep on writing Louise and good luck.
Tricia Reichert, USA

I like the style of her writing (very easy to read), and her descriptions of the various types of ghosts.

As for the story, there are similarities between this and HP in the way the Ghost world coexists on top of the Human world (like butter sits on toast, brilliant!), similar to the way Wizards and the Muggles do.

I'll reserve my comments about whether this story is worth getting published until I've read the last instalment on Friday, as the story so far is only introducing the reader to the characters at this stage. Can't wait for the remaining parts of the story though.
Len Aye, UK

I didn't like it at all. The premise is so similar to Harry Potter that I'm surprised you even dare print it. Just another wannabe with nothing that makes it stand out from the others.
Liz Burgin, England

I'm your biggest fan!
Clowneh, England

Have you even read Harry Potter? It's nothing to do with it, it's a good story and will go far. Go Go Lou!
Peter, UK

I could picture every character and thought the writing was perfect to capture a child's imagination and set it on fire! Andy, Leeds

I thought the first exerpt was good but lost interest halfway through the second and the third one made me want to give it up - dull and going nowhere. It doesn't have those all little narrative, touches that could make it special. I have no interest in the characters.
Elena , UK

"The premise is so similar to Harry Potter that I'm surprised you even dare print it."

Did you even read the same story as us? In fact, have you read anything at all by JK Rowling?

I seriously wonder if you have or not - these two stories are completely different.

So, which publisher is going to pick this woman up and give us another author worth reading?
David James, UK

Love the idea of poltergeists being responsible for missing socks!

Admittedly it hasn't stood out from other stories of a similar vein, however, I'm sure if published and spanning over several chapters Ms Arnold would be able to put her extensive imagination and comparative writing skills to very good use.

My six-year-old daughter loves it and is eagerly anticipating today's installment at bedtime. I must thank Ms Arnold for making bedtimes a pleasure instead of a chore for at least one week!
Kirsty, UK

It's a lovely story so far and well-written. But it's so similar in style to H. Potter that I find it hard to believe Ms Arnold's claim that she hasn't read the HP books. Come on Ms Arnold - you've clearly got a talent, but have the grace to acknowledge that you've drawn inspiration from someone else!
Heather, England

Loved it. The first chapter had me gripped and magically took me into the ghost world. I could picture every character and thought the writing was perfect to capture a child's imagination and set it on fire!

This should be published and the BBC should quickly buy the rights to serialise the story as a cartoon, it would make fantastic TV.
Andy, Leeds, England