You know the sort - scratch golfer, captain of the local quiz team, DIY supremo and unstoppable sex machine - not to mention top New York DJ.

His house, you would imagine, is crammed with interesting gadgets and when he's not exercising his considerable knob-twiddling talents he probably enjoys tinkering with things.

Yep, Van Helden is in a different league to us normal folk and there's nothing he likes better than reminding us. There's the album title for a start; for 2 Future 4U, read: "This is way over your heads, minions, but you will be staggered by its breathtaking brilliance."

Pick 'n' mix

Then you've got the compilation of answer machine messages from a selection of his showbiz friends - and Mick Jagger's PA - strung together to form the track Business As Usual. But hey, if you've got it, why not flaunt it?

And he has got it. Listening to this album is like delving blindly into the pick 'n' mix counter at Woolies - you don't know what's coming and some bits are sweeter than others.

Psychic Bounty Killaz is a natty New York house track flavoured with hip-hop which can best be described as the noise a pair of beefed-up windcsreen wipers make during monsoon season.

Rock Da Spot hits all the right spots with a nagging bassline that owes more to punk than funk, loose hollow beats and incessant scratching, whereas Summertime is the kind of mellow number you could imagine Mark Knopfler strumming to himself in his oversized lounge.

One thing Van Helden is not short of is time - his motto would appear to be 'why do in four minutes what you can do in eight?'

Such longevity can be justified on the likes of Mother, where Wu-Tang Clan's Takeitha wails about the Earth's despair at man's lack of concern ("she's unhappy ... can you feel her pain?"), but on others he would be advised to adopt the adage less is more.

Rave effects

Necessary Evil is actually one of the shorter ones - it just feels like it goes on forever. Imagine having the household saw wired up to a two-kilowatt PA system while painfully working your way through a sizeable chunk of ebony and you get the picture.

It's the sort of effect used during the heady days of rave, notably the remix of DJ PC's Inssomniak, and that's where it should stay.

There's more good apples than bad, though and if you're not frightened to death by the The Boogie Monster or whisked off into the dark and menacing world of Alienz, it's worth persevering.

Van Helden has already shown he has the Midas touch by taking Tori Amos' Professional Widow and U Don't Know Me to the top while barely moving out of second gear, but it's unlikely 2 Future 4U will emulate their success - it's a little too weird for Joe Public.

And you wouldn't expect any less. With a name like Armand you're bound to be slightly nutty.