Friday, February 26, 1999 Published at 12:17 GMT
Geri 'still mourns' Spice Girls
The way they were: Now Geri Halliwell (second right) is missing stardom
Former Spice Girl Geri Halliwell is still "in mourning" for the group she quit - and she wears black to mark her grief over the split.
Ms Halliwell, 26, told interviewer Jenni Murray: "I've actually done some psycho-analysis on myself and I've decided I've been in mourning for the whole thing."
Asked what it was she was mourning, she replied: "The death of a relationship, really. I think that's what someone said to me the other day and I think they were right - that's why I'm always wearing black."
"I can't believe I've done such things. I'm trying to analyse myself and this behaviour. It hasn't left me. There's something in me that can behave like that.
"Maybe it's nerves. I think the loudest people are sometimes the most nervous. You know, you come out with big loud jokes and 'This is who I am' because inside you're thinking, 'Oh my God.'"
Last year Halliwell signed a record deal with EMI, and her first solo single is due in "a couple of months".
"It's honest, it's vulnerable, and it's loud and confident. It's all my sides, but it's insecure at the same time. It's funny and dark. I hope women will identify with it."
She is also involved in this year's Comic Relief appeal, and was sent to Uganda to visit a women's literacy centre. She was stunned by what she saw.
"When I got there I just started crying. The way these women welcomed me was just fantastic," she recalled.
"One woman told me she had been able to read her husband's love letters from his girlfriend - he'd been able to hide it for the past few years because she'd been not able to read.
It was fantastic how it changed their lives. We always claim to be so hard done by, but these women are living on the edge. That was one lesson I learned."
Halliwell also went on a boat trip with an all-male crew on the rapids of the River Nile - and thought she was going to die. But Girl Power stopped her from crying.
"Afterwards I really wanted to cry but I couldn't in front of all those men, but I couldn't get out of the boat. At the end of the course I saw my PA, who was waiting on an island. I just couldn't wait to see her so I just cried quietly in the corner."
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