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EDITIONS
Tuesday, 12 November, 2002, 16:43 GMT
The Tax Song translated
Gerhard Schroeder
The song features an impersonation of Gerhard Schroeder

Verse

That's quite a blow, people. Here we are, need a bit of dosh for the fatherland, and suddenly we are as beloved as athlete's foot. But I only want your best - your money.

Dog tax, tobacco tax, road licence tax and green tax. Did you really believe there wouldn't be anything else?

Corporate taxes, alcohol taxes. I may push up the price of beer - but I won't stop here.

Because you've elected me, now you've got to take your medicine. I'll be your Chancellor for a few years to come.

Promises today can be broken the next day. That's why I'm getting every single bank note - your dough, your quid, your piggy banks.

Chorus

I raise your taxes. A cast vote is a vote cast, you can't fire me anymore. That's the cool thing about democracy.

I dig deeply in your pockets. Every single one of you has got some dough tucked away. And I'll get it, I'll find it - doesn't matter where it is.

I'll strip you bare, you losers. You'll be astounded, I'll manage to surprise you. There is no tax that I can't come up with.

Verse

For example, what about a bad weather tax, that would get me plenty of booty. Or a tax on hair colour - well, maybe not.

A tax on walking the earth, a breathing tax supplement, air will be expensive. And I'm not done yet.

A tapered tooth tax for chewing. Green taxes on your digestion. I'm getting tough!

My policies are cool. Quality has its price. If you want to see the Gerd Show, you better pay up.

I tighten the tax screws like an profit pirate. And if you run out of money, why don't you buy at discounters like Lidl, Penny or Aldi - or nothing at all from time to time.

Chorus

I raise your taxes. A cast vote is a vote cast, you can't fire me anymore. That's the cool thing about democracy.

I dig deeply in your pockets. Every single one of you has got some dough tucked away. And I'll get it, I'll find it - doesn't matter where it is.

I'll strip you bare, you losers. You'll be astounded, I'll manage to surprise you. There is no tax that I can't come up with.

Verse

It's easy to save on taxes (steuern). I, for example, have a driver, that saves me on steering [steuern]. Do you know the difference between me and a lobster?

The lobster turns red when the heat is turned up [pun: 'abkochen' means both cooking something and defrauding somebody].

Attention, attention, dear fellow citizens, soon the toads [German slang for money] will be on the move again - they'll be moving from your pockets into mine.

Ha ha ha and what about the unemployed, they could spare a bit of dosh as well, after all there are plenty of them around.

 WATCH/LISTEN
 ON THIS STORY
Elmar Brandt
Click to listen to a clip of Tax Song
See also:

29 Oct 02 | Business
25 Jun 02 | Europe
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