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Tuesday, 1 January, 2002, 09:30 GMT
2002: A strange odyssey
![]() The new year promises to be another busy year in the arts and entertainment business. BBC News Online's Darryl Chamberlain peers into his crystal ball - the one bought down the market with the strange crack in it...
Robbie is kicked out of the US as a security risk, provoking a major diplomatic incident. Kidman moves to London in solidarity with her old chum.
Harry Potter and The Philosopher's Stone is nominated for 16 Oscars, The Fellowship of The Ring has one - best lighting. Lord Of The Rings fans are outraged, and the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences' website is hacked.
Harry Potter wins no Oscars, but Nicole Kidman wins best actress for Moulin Rouge. Tom Cruise watches the ceremony on TV, and pops out to the grocery store for some beer during an ad break. No-one notices.
ITV Digital goes bust, and the BBC steps in to take it over, in a deal which involves Greg Dyke handing over the rights for Roland Rat to Carlton and Granada. Channel 4's new morning show - Breakfast Banana - starts, hosted by Kirsty Gallacher and Sky Digital's Monkey. It's an instant hit, and schoolchildren across the country are seen chomping bananas on the way into school. Safety chiefs warn the new craze could be dangerous. Liz Hurley gives birth to a ginger-haired baby. Steve Bing issues a denial, so does Chris Evans - despite the fact he has not met Hurley in the past few years. Sir Elton John keeps silent.
MayCulture Secretary Tessa Jowell gives BBC Three the go-ahead, "as long as all tapes of LA Pool Party and EastEnders Revealed are put in a concrete vault and never shown again".Stumped for new shows, BBC Three starts by running non-stop repeats of Liquid News, under the banner Christopher Price 24, interrupted only by minute-long news bulletins.
Atomic Kitten's World Cup song, Go On Goldenballs, is withdrawn from sale after David Beckham comes a cropper in the match against Argentina. The trio go into hiding after an unpleasant incident with Victoria backstage at Top of The Pops. Glastonbury 2002 goes ahead, with a line-up of Rod Stewart, Des O'Connor, Blink 182 and S Club 7. Speaking from the Hewlett-Packard Worthy Farm, Michael Eavis insists he has not sold out. Ninety people are shot by guards patrolling the fences.
A Glasgow art gallery unveils its latest exhibit, Lost Dog - a confused-looking mongrel pacing around the room. However, the opening is spoiled somewhat when the mutt's owner turns up, slaps the gallery owner around the face and takes her delighted pet home.
Meanwhile, Madonna and Guy Ritchie leave London for New York after the film-maker's latest project, He's Hard, In'ee? is panned by critics. It stars Jason Statham as a criminal-turned-footballer, with real-life partner Kelly Brook playing his wife.
OctoberFollowing in the footsteps of Irish PM Bertie Ahern, who appeared on RTE's The Premiership in 2001, Tony Blair joins Des Lynam and Terry Venables on ITV1. But the Newcastle-loving Prime Minister fails to spot an Alan Shearer foul, and a political row erupts, overshadowing the state opening of parliament.
Bloody Tube is the favourite for 2002's Turner Prize. It consists of a train stuck on the Jubilee Line Extension, with its doors opening, then closing, opening, then closing, representing the futile struggle of Londoners each morning. A protester attacks it - but the celebrated art terrorist was actually hitting out against another fare rise.
The BBC is accused of "dumbing down" after Noel Gallagher presents a 12-part BBC Radio 3 series on classical music called Good Sounds, Our Kid. But audience figures rocket as orchestral sounds dominate the run-up to Christmas. Chris Moyles starts drooling over all-female act Bond on his BBC Radio 1 show, and a string quartet smash up Nottingham's Rock City venue.
Steps reunite for a "farewell" Christmas single - but Kirsty Gallacher and Monkey reach the festive summit with a version of Love Letters. Kelly Brook and Jason Statham are both nominated for 2003 Golden Globes for He's Hard, In'ee?
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