Julian Lennon reflects on John

Julian Lennon said he felt anger towards his father

Julian Lennon, the son of murdered Beatles star John, has revealed his bitterness that his father was so often absent.

In a message posted on www.julianlennon.com, he blamed John's fear of fatherhood and his relationship with Yoko Ono for the distance that came between them.

"I had a great deal of anger towards Dad because of his negligence and his attitude to peace and love, that peace and love never came home to me," he wrote.

Sadly, I never really knew the man

Julian Lennon

The message is to mark the 20th anniversary of his father's shooting by obsessed fan Mark Chapman on 8 December 1980 in New York.

Julian, Lennon's son from his first marriage, described his father as a "guiding light" who was "sucked into a black hole".

He said he went through "love/hate relationships" with him whether he was there or not.

"I wonder what it would have been like if he were alive today," he wrote.

"I guess it would have depended on whether he was `John Lennon' (Dad) or `John Ono Lennon' (manipulated lost soul)."

'Manipulated'

He said he thought his father's work was incredible and so was what he achieved with his the three other Beatles, Paul, George and Ringo.

But he said it did not give him any clear insight into what his father's real life was about or how he truly felt about it.

Julian, himself a musician, also spoke of the expectations he has had to live up to being a music legend's son

"Life is difficult enough," he said.

"Trying to find one's own identity makes it even harder, especially when you're not allowed to be you."

Brotherly love

In his message he speaks with warmth about his half-brother Sean, Yoko Ono and John's son.

"I have a brother and I love Sean very much and I hope that he's able to cope with his destiny," he said.

"One thing's for sure he's got a big brother who will protect him and love him till the end, whatever happens."

He rounds off his message with a few words for his father.

"I just wanted to say that wherever he is I hope he realises the mistakes he's made as I realise them and hope never to repeat them, as he did his father's," he wrote.

Yoko Ono has marked the anniversary of his death with an appeal for the world to reflect on the horrors of "gun violence".