The best part about driving my Yellow Mobile Conveyance Lounge (my genuine New York City taxi) on the streets of the Big Apple for 25 years is that I get to overhear everyone's conversations.

Hillary Clinton tops the list of cab conversation

From time to time, I even get the opportunity to intrude into the conversation and argue a bit. But, you got to be careful about that kind of thing if you want to get a good tip at the end of the ride.

Number one topic of conversation in my taxi these days is the arrival of the ultimate carpetbagger, Hillary Clinton, to run for US Senator in New York State.

Keep in mind that this election is not going to take place until November 2000. Talk about getting an early start.

Liarmania

Her competition in the race is Rudolph Giuliani, the current Mayor of the City of New York, who loves to torture food vendors, newsstand dealers and, oy vey, cab drivers.

Mayor Rudy Giuliani "loves to torture cabbies"

I have declared this contest "Liarmania."

Did you just ask me why? Forget about it. These two people are off and running with statements that would make a conman blush.

Rudy says he wasn't ever in the US Army because he was working as a clerk for a judge when he was of draft age.

Can you imagine? He is defending his war record against a lady whose husband is the number one draft dodger in the United States.

Hillary has announced that she is going to travel around New York State so she can find out what our problems are and help us.

Did she forget that under the Clinton's administration in Arkansas, that state worked its way into being the second worst state in the country in terms of economy, schools, etc?

Better than Broadway

But listen, this contest is going to be a delight for me. The conversations that will take place in my taxi are going to be so delicious.

The Senate race will provide plenty of taxi talk

Just the other day, I had a talk in the vehicle with a guy about my age. We both agreed that it was kind of sexy to have a First Lady that was about our age because we could conceivably date her.

Up to this point, all First Ladies in my life have been slightly old, if you know what I mean.

Just yesterday, I had two foreign reporters in the taxi who asked to be taken to the Official Clinton Election Headquarters.

Can you imagine how hard it was for me to explain that she still isn't an "official" candidate because until she declares that she is really running for the office, most of her expenses are being paid for by the United States Government?

Stuff like this, you generally should be paying for in a Broadway show.

Come to think of it, maybe I should be paying my passengers for all this entertainment.

Thank you Hillary for coming to my state. Man, am I going to have fun in the next year and a half.