HIV Nigerians 'treated like dogs'

HIV-positive Nigerian seamstress Maryam Tamakloe tells BBC Network Africa about the stigma of being a woman with Aids and what she wants from this week's International Aids Conference in Toronto.

I'm a mother of two living with HIV and Aids.

Maryam Tamakloe is a seamstress with a shop in Lagos (Picture: Mudi Yahaya)

I got to know my HIV status three years ago when I was four months pregnant.

When I discovered this, it felt like the end of the world for me because being a person living with the virus in Nigeria is a terrible thing.

I felt like going in front of a car so it could smash into me or going to Lagos's beach to fall in the water.

When I went to tell my family that I was HIV positive, I had to first explain to my mother what HIV was. She said to me that she did not care if I was HIV or not.

With my husband, it was more difficult. He tried to chase me out of the house.

But I have a little boy and there would have been nobody to take care of him. "You have to sit and take care of your child," he said.

After that I kept going to the clinic and bringing back leaflets for him explaining what HIV was all about. Thank God, now he knows.

Stigma

When people know that you have HIV it is very difficult to get a job.

The folder at the end of my bed was marked "WXYZ" - a euphemism meaning that you're HIV positive and on your way out

Your colleagues, your landlord and your people stop having anything to do with you. Your family may even build a separate room for you and leave you there to die.

When I went to have my baby I was supposed to have a caesarean section, but the staff refused to do the operation because I was HIV positive.

The folder at the end of my bed was marked "WXYZ" in large letters - a euphemism meaning that you're HIV positive and on your way out.

I was in the ward for three days before the labour came, but the nurses were not there for me. They were just looking at me and then passing by.

A doctor came by at last and saw I was in terrible pain and helped me. Thank God my baby was born HIV negative.

Secret

Because of my experience I have become an Aids activist, fighting against this discrimination for the people living with HIV in Nigeria, especially women.

If a woman talks about a condom people will think she is a prostitute

I recently lost a friend whose husband was HIV positive.

He had been going to the clinic to collect his drugs but he refused to tell his wife at home that he had Aids. At the end of the day she died and he's still alive. She left behind a four-year-old daughter.

It is difficult in our society for women to protect themselves against the virus.

If a woman talks about a condom people will think she is a prostitute.

If you tell your husband to use a condom he will ask you, "Did I marry you for you to give me an order?"

Big business

For me taking ARVs (anti-retroviral drugs) is difficult because it is for a lifetime. You have to take them according to the time, you can't miss one day or else you'll get complications.

Maryam says women bear the brunt of Aids stigmatisation

But without free treatment I would not be here today; my boy would not have been born negative; my husband would have no wife and my son would have no mother.

I have been helped by a non-governmental organisation in the city.

However, millions are not as lucky as me for them tests and drugs cost money. What about the ones in the village?

Death is the only escape from the shame they are made to feel.

Right now what I want from the conference in Toronto is for them to stop speaking too much - they need to act fast because there are a lot of people out there dying.

HIV has turned into a business here. People are using us to collect money from donors but at the end of the day it is not used for us.

Nothing is done.

As a basic health right we need free voluntary counselling and testing, free monitoring and free ARV drugs.

Without free testing and treatment we have no future and our children have no hope.

Do not let us die like dogs in the streets.

Maryam Tamakloe is currently working with the BBC World Service Trust in Lagos on its HIV and Aids project.