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Last Updated: Thursday, 1 April, 2004, 14:13 GMT 15:13 UK
Africa's press plays the fool
Sven-Goran Eriksson
Sven is expected to fly in on President Mbeki's private jet
Sven Goran Eriksson has given up his job as England football coach to take up a post with South Africa's squad, the Bafana Bafana.

At least this is according to a report in South Africa's The Star's 1 April edition.

The paper reports that South Africa "paid millions to buy Mr Eriksson out of the contract he had just extended with the England Football Association".

"I look forward to waking up with lions, elephants and buffalo next to me," Mr Eriksson is quoted as saying.

Manhood threatened

The Star is not the only African paper to mark April Fool's Day with a less-than-credible story.

"Pork robs manhood", screams a headline in Uganda's New Vision, warning pork-loving Ugandans that "excessive consumption of pork products could lead to a decline in male sexual potency".

The story quotes a newly-released study as also revealing that "a hormonal imbalance caused by pork might lead to the emergence of more feminine features in males".

The study quoted in the report says that married women whose husbands eat pork said "sexual activity in their marriages had declined over the years" and blamed this on pork consumption.

But it added "on April Fool's Day you can eat all the pork you want".

'Don't panic'

Residents of Kenya's capital, Nairobi, wake up to the startling news that they might soon have to migrate.

The Nation reports that the country's capital city "is running out of water and it means all 2.2 million residents might be on the move" as the country hunts for a new capital.

Mt Kilimanjaro
Kilimanjaro is Africa's tallest peak - could it soon belong to Kenya?
The report says a team of surveyors is currently carrying out an audit of all Nairobi's landmark buildings to see if they can be dismantled stone by stone and re-erected in the new capital "to give a sense of continuity".

"Kentropolis", "Kibakiville" and "Upuzi" are the names being considered for the new city, although the hot favourite is reportedly simply "New Nairobi".

The report calls on Nairobi residents not to panic as "there'll be plenty of time for that when the lorries arrive to cart away all your possessions".

Mountain curse

Kenya's Standard has the government claiming ownership of Tanzania's Mount Kilimanjaro.

The report says an "undersecretary" in the Ministry of Foreign Affairs, Dr M Zaha, has confirmed that the issue has been discussed by the East African Community's Council of Ministers.

"Dr Zaha added that the ministry does not expect any resistance to the plan from Tanzania," the paper adds, as the local tribe "have long regarded the mountain to be cursed".

Mzaha means joke in Swahili.

BBC Monitoring, based in Caversham in southern England, selects and translates information from radio, television, press, news agencies and the Internet from 150 countries in more than 70 languages.




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