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Thursday, January 15, 1998 Published at 18:55 GMT

The Master's Wit and Wisdom - and Sounds

From Nina
"She declined to begin the Beguine
Though they besought her to
And in language profane and obscene
She cursed the man who taught her to,
She cursed Cole Porter too!"
From Ace of Clubs
"But I like America
Every scrap of it
All the sentimental crap of it..."

'Mad Dogs and Englishmen', EMI. (Dur: 1'03")
From There are bad times just around the corner
There are bad times just around the corner,
There are dark clouds traveling through the sky
And it's no good whining
About a silver lining
For we know from experience that they won't roll by,
"Work is more fun than fun."
When Churchill said he did not see why Edward VIII should not marry his "little cutie" during the Abdication crisis of 1937, Coward responded: "Because England does not want a Queen Cutie!"
'Mrs Worthington',EMI. (Dur: 35")
Of Churchill himself, he wrote that he was "a great man with more Achilles heels than are usual in a bi-ped, one of which is a remarkable capacity for self-deception and another a strong vein for cheapness."
Of the death of Lord Beaverbrook, Coward said: "This long - too long - delayed occurrence requires no comment. God is still presumably in his heaven unless he had been forced to move over."
Of Jamaica he wrote: "The reefs are enchanting; the water is clear, The colouring couldn't be dreamier But one coral scratch and you may spend a year In bed with acute septicemia"
Of God he said: "We've never been intimate, but maybe we have a few things in common."

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