What the papers say

Journalist Keith Baker takes a look at what is making the headlines in Monday's morning papers.

There's general agreement in the papers that this is going to be a tempestuous week - and that's only on I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here.

The tabloids are full of the show and it hasn't even started.

And if you're already tired looking at pictures of Jordan, I suggest that you ain't seen nothing yet.

The Sun has a cartoon showing Tony Blair taking on a bush tucker trial.

He's crossing a shaky rope bridge and wearing a T-shirt with the slogan - "I'm a prime minister, I'll get out of here."

Below him are crocodiles labelled top-up fees, Hutton inquiry and Labour rebels.

Maybe there should have been one labelled Gordon Brown too.

His remarks in a television interview on Sunday provide plenty of speculation.

"Brown fuels doubts over Blair" is the Daily Telegraph headline. "Brown hints Blair is set to quit," says the Mail.

The paper says the chancellor has raised an extraordinary question mark over the prime minister's future.

As for the Hutton report, the Independent believes nine people will come out of it not exactly smelling of roses.

Criticism

It says six are linked to the government and three are at the BBC.

The paper says they all made late submissions to Lord Hutton after getting letters from him to say they face possible criticism.

Whatever the outcome, the inquiry has already brought about some changes.

The Times says few officials at number 10 send e-mails on sensitive issues any more.

Not only that, but everyone has to watch what they say since meetings these days are always minuted by civil servants.

In Northern Ireland, Ian Paisley Junior's on the front page of the News Letter claiming that Protestants are losing confidence in the police.

He tells the paper that a survey compiled by the Police Ombudsman's Office suggests that more Protestants than Catholics are now making complaints.

But the News Letter wonders whether this does actually mean a loss of faith.

Or maybe it means that Catholics have increased their confidence in the police, and while Protestant complaints have stayed the same, their percentage comes out higher?

The Irish News concentrates on the booby-trap bomb left outside a West Belfast GAA club.

Hatred

The paper reports that about 40 children aged between 10 and 14 passed through the gates of the club on Sunday, unaware that the device was there.

The Irish News says this latest incident shows the pathological hatred which some loyalist paramilitaries have for the GAA.

"But blind hatred won't win", the paper says.

David Trimble's problems are highlighted in several papers after 30 delegates walked out of his constituency meeting at the weekend.

The Irish Independent calls this deep humiliation.

Ciaran McKeown in the News Letter says the departing delegates represent a small but significant minority but their walk-out will be music to DUP ears.

The Mirror reports that Colonel Tim Collins has been approached by both Unionist parties who would like to see him stand as a Westminster MP.

But one Unionist source tells the paper: "Frankly, we discovered that he has little interest in getting involved in the sectarian politics of this province."

The Express reports that police officers in England are to be issued with a cookbook featuring simple, healthy recipes in a bid to reduce the number of fat and unfit officers.

As the headline puts it, "Burgers, not burglars, are the new Home Office priority."

Chinese food will probably be out, too.

A letter in the Times notes that somebody has come up with an equation which apparently proves that after 1,000 Chinese meals you'll be able to use chopsticks properly.

The writer says that at a rate of one a week that would take him about 19 years.

And since he'll be nearly 88 by then, he'll probably have forgotten why he started.