Blunkett does a Gummer

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BBC News Online political correspondent Nick Assinder's column, updated at lunchtime each day

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| 1330 GMT Thursday 13 February|

Former Tory minister and MP for Suffolk Coastal, John Gummer, is pretty resigned to the fact that he will only ever be remembered for one thing.

And that was his infamous TV stunt in which he force fed his daughter a beefburger to prove that British beef was safe.

The incident has become so notorious that any similar sort of stunt has become known as "doing a Gummer".

Or, in Home Secretary David Blunkett's book "doing a Suffolk Coastal".

At least, that was the expression Mr Blunkett used when he was trying to give a scale to the terrorist threat at Heathrow airport.

He didn't want to do a Suffolk Coastal, he said, but his son had flown out of the airport that morning.

"Doing a Blunkett" anyone.

| 1330 GMT Wednesday 12 February|
I just knew I shouldn't have tried a political joke.

The saga of the lightbulbs (see below) has sparked allegations of anti-Tory bias.

So in the interests of balance, if not humour:

How many Labour ministers does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to mess it up. One to claim they've actually changed six, and one to blame the Tories.

OK enough already.

| 1330 GMT Tuesday 11 February|
Mention the name "Mittal" in Downing Street and, understandably, officials dive for cover.

Indian billionaire Lakshmi Mittal, you may remember, is the Labour donor who won a letter from Tony Blair backing his takeover of the Romanian Sidex steel plant

When questioned about his support for the deal, the prime minister claimed he was simply backing a British firm.

Except, of course, Mr Mittal's company LMN is not British.

Now I learn LMN wants to bid for the contract to run Poland's privatised steel firm PHS.

Could the prime minister be persuaded to once again back the takeover in the interests of Britain?

The prime minister's spokesman smiled, and ducked.

Don't hold your breath Mr Mittal.

| 1300 GMT Monday 10 February|
You might think that civil servants have a better grip on the workings of government than most of us.

Well, not if the parliamentary resources unit is to be believed.

The unit has put out an extremely helpful note to members of the civil service pension scheme explaining precisely what the government's proposal on pensions will mean to them.

The note includes a detailed Q and A section which starts with the following question: "What is a green paper?"

The difficult ones first eh?

| 1300 GMT Friday 07 February|
The Commons did nothing for its reputation with the farcical vote on Lords reform which saw MPs rejecting all the options before them.

But it appears things may have been very different.

The prime minister got the result he wanted - indefinite delay - after declaring he had abandoned all previous policies and manifesto commitments and now supported a fully appointed second chamber.

Just as an aside, it was a bit of a surprise to see that 172 MPs actually want to see the upper chamber abolished altogether. Food for thought indeed.

Still, once the option of a fully elected chamber had been defeated, pro-democracy MPs rallied around their next best option of 80% elected.

And they came within just three votes of winning it and, at the same time, sparing Leader of the House Robin Cook from humiliation.

But it has now emerged that the way the string of votes were held - with two of the unpopular options not being called for a vote at all - left a number of MPs in complete confusion about exactly what they were voting for.

Several, including health secretary Alan Milburn, were spotted by colleagues on the verge of voting against the option they actually favoured.

This has raised the quite genuine concern that the 80% elected option may have been defeated by accident.

It would only have taken two confused MPs to have wandered into the wrong voting lobby to screw it all up.

And finding two confused MPs, or even more, in this place is never a problem.

If I was Robin Cook I think I would be demanding a recount.

| 1300 GMT Thursday 06 February|
Revelations here that it takes two weeks for MPs to get a light bulb changed by the private contractors in the Commons (see below) has sparked a flurry of jokes.

I couldn't resist this one, from a Tory backbencher who insists on anonymity, for pretty obvious reasons.

Question: "How many Tories does it take to change a light bulb?

Answer: "Three. One to change the bulb and two to plot a leadership contest in the dark."

| 1230 GMT Wednesday 05 February|
MPs regularly complain about being kept in the dark by the government - but this is getting silly.

A number of them have, quite literally, been plunged into darkness as the light bulbs in their offices have blown, as they do.

No big deal, you would think. Just get a man with a ladder to stick in a new one.

But, there is a major problem. The private contractors who carry out such work are so over stretched there is a waiting list.

Of two weeks.