Quiz of the week's news

It's nearly the end of the week, but there's no need to let your attention flag. Test yourself in BBC News Online's quiz.

If you don't do very well this week, try again next week.

What was 892ft long, but vaporised in an instant on reaching its optimum speed of 558,000,000 miles per second?

	A: Europe’s $250m rocket Ariane 5, which self-destructed three minutes after blast off

	B: The latest $100m ‘Son of Star Wars’ anti-missile missile test-fired by the US

	C: Santa’s sleigh, according to Reverend Lee Rayfield - who told children Santa was dead

What was staggeringly revealed as being a mere 8% dried meat?

	A: Paxo’s Sausagemeat and Thyme Stuffing Mix

	B: Madonna’s new lambskin coat, which angered her animal rights activist friend Stella McCartney

	C: The diet of Robert Ward, the American who was trapped in his car for a week after crashing into a ravine

The European Court made a ruling about the wording on which boxes?

	A: The humming box sculptures of Turner Prize winner Keith Tyson. (One, entitled The Thinker, breaches the copyright of the Rodin estate)

	B: Cigarette boxes – which can no longer claim to contain "light" or "mild" fags

	C: The packaging of the talking President Bush doll – which can’t be called an "action figure" because its elbows don’t bend

Who was accused of abusing photocopiers, costing others an estimated £800,000?

	A: Amorous British workers, whose office liaisons are bad for profits according to 25% of employers

	B: The US's UN delegation, which snatched away the 11,807-page Iraq dossier to photocopy it for everyone else

	C: The head of Romania's National Library, who was accused of selling photocopies of a precious 8th Century book, the Codex Aureus

Who was incensed to find they would fall foul of the law if they removed an offending item?

	A: Roger Windo, who found a stranger’s car blocking his driveway but was told by police he could not lawfully move it

	B: Virginians, who have been told menacing Ku Klux Klan-style cross burnings are protected by the US Constitution

	C: The Spanish and US navies, who stopped a North Korean ship loaded with Scud missiles bound for Yemen

Legendary entertainers Dionne Warwick, Dame Judi Dench and Lionel Blair all celebrated birthdays this week. Put them in order, oldest first.

	A: Judi, Dionne, Lionel

	B: Dionne, Lionel, Judi

	C: Lionel, Judi, Dionne

"I just smashed the chopping board across his face." Whose act of culinary violence?

	A: Chirpy celebrity chef Jamie Oliver, who has revealed his darker side in a TV documentary about training novice cooks

	B: Actor Christopher Cazenove, who foiled a High Street robbery while out on a shopping trip

	C: The German who confessed to killing and eating another man – with his prior consent - after advertising for a victim on the net

Big enough to take on our pun-writing challenge? Have a look at Planet Tabloid if you are, by clicking here.