Tumour Diary: It's getting easier

BBC News Online Science and Technology writer Ivan Noble was diagnosed with a malignant brain tumour in August.

He has been charting his progress in a weekly column.

Here he describes emerging from his second round of chemotherapy.

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The chemotherapy was much easier than last time.

Last time around I was struggling to stay awake only a couple of hours after I got out of bed.

This time there has been fatigue, but nothing like as much.

Perhaps last month I still had a hangover from the radiotherapy when I started the chemo.

The thing that continues to astonish me is how normal I feel

Getting going in the morning is still a struggle but once I am up and out of the house I am fine.

I only missed one day of my chi gong exercises.

Keeping busy

The trick seems to be making sure that I am going to see someone every day. If I only have a list of chores to work through then I put them off.

The thing that continues to astonish me is how normal I feel.

It is testimony to how effective my treatment has been so far. Whatever happens to me next, this part has been good.

I completely share the feelings of the person who wrote in last week to say how good it is to travel home on the underground after having treatment.

It is wonderful, even if there is nowhere to sit down. I feel in a way as if I am doing something I never expected to do.

I want to go back to work now. It is beginning to look as if I might manage a couple of half days in the office before Christmas.

That does not seem much, but it would be a start and it would give me something to improve upon when I get through round three in the New Year.

Christmas

We have decided to spend our daughter's first Christmas in Germany with my wife's family. My parents will join us on Christmas Eve - the main day of celebration there.

The thought of this possibly being my last Christmas crosses my mind only now as I write

It will be hectic, but our daughter's cousins will be there for her to enjoy it with, my sister-in-law and her husband are generous and welcoming hosts, and the chances of snow are better.

Sticking to my diet is going to be a challenge.

It is testament to how far my spirits have risen that the thought of this possibly being my last Christmas crosses my mind only now as I write.

Last time I saw my doctor he had no specific news - there is none to be expected until I have my scan next year - but he did say things which gave me great encouragement.

It is one thing to have decided for myself that things will turn out well but it is quite another to know that my doctor feels the same way.

I hope they do, for the both of us. I do not envy him his job.

Confident manner

I am not sure how deliberate his management of how much I know about my tumour has been, but somehow it has been just right and his briskly confident manner has always made me feel better.

I do not know why some doctors seem to have this knack and others not.

Obviously experience plays a big role but I have come across doctors who seemed very young but had completely mastered it.

I think it just boils down to them being able to put themselves into the patient's shoes.

Doctors need to be detached from the misery and distress involved in some of the diseases they treat.

They also need their specialist vocabulary to be able to communicate with other doctors quickly.

With the really scary diseases, some of that terminology is correspondingly scary.

But the doctors who have given me faith and hope have been those who have for the time they were speaking to me shed that detachment and vocabulary and become knowledgeable, confident but ordinary people for a few minutes.

For someone in my situation, faith and hope are priceless.

Your e-mails to Ivan.

I too, had chemo back in '99, I decided it wasn't for me as the side effects were quite dire, I did however meet a person who had just got the all clear from cancer, he used Maitake mushroom tablets. I thought what the hell, it's got to be better than the rough ride I'd already been through. It took eight months and I guess a real risk, but I cleared the cancer and have remained free ever since. I wish you Ivan and anyone else going through this difficult time would at least look up Maitake and its anti-cancer properties.
Simon C Coombs, UK

Gruesome it is, but it's better than the alternative! Andrea, UK

I've just completed chemo number four of six. This time round was much better, they seem to have got my anti-emetics right at last. Hang on in there Ivan, gruesome it is, but it's better than the alternative! A couple of tips if I may - ginger - fresh, crystallised does wonders for sickness - when you don't feel much like food, try V8 vegetable juice - gets you the goodness easily!
Andrea, UK

Off to Germany? Froeliche Weihnachten!
Flynn, England

Ivan, I always look forward to your column as I love to hear that you are doing well. I hope you have a great Christmas. Have a snowball fight if you can.
Emily Green, Scotland

Ivan, I always read your column and I am so pleased that it is getting easier for you. I often wonder what I would do - panic, or get on with things - probably both - and it is both fascinating and inspiring for you to share your experience with everyone. Thanks, good luck, and Happy Christmas!
Flash Wilson, UK

I am not a religious man so I cannot say "God bless you" but my thoughts are with you in your glorious attempt at fighting off that pesky brain tumour. May the force be with you Ivan!! Sincerely,
Bob Butler, UK

One of the most interesting things I've ever read. Good luck.
Simon, UK

Feel tired after chemo? I felt pretty bushed when I had chronic fatigue syndrome - I'm better now. If I were you I'd drink Red Bull - it doesn't give you wings, but it gives you a good kick-start! But it does contain lots of caffeine, so I'd check with the doc before trying that.
SDE, UK

I learned a lot from your diary, Mr Noble. Keep writing.
Dave Klein, US