Military row dominates papers

You do not have to look far to find military metaphors to describe the argument between ministers and the Chief of the Defence Staff, Admiral Sir Michael Boyce, over the use of troops in the fire-fighters' dispute.

The Daily Telegraph believes Sir Michael - a former submariner - has fired a "political torpedo" right at the heart of government.

The Guardian speaks of growing tensions "exploding into the open".

The Times says the admiral's broadside is as close to a mutiny as you will get in the British military establishment.

The paper reckons the Defence Secretary, Geoff Hoon, must be counting the days to Sir Michael's retirement next April.

'Goriest show'

According to the Financial Times, Mr Hoon's demeanour at their joint media briefing grew visibly more rigid as the Chief of the Defence Staff went confidently off-message.

Paul Routledge - writing in The Daily Mirror - thinks Sir Michael's intervention raises serious questions about the prime minister's conduct of military and security policy.

For the more squeamish readers, coverage of Britain's first public post-mortem examination for 170 years may make for shocking reading over breakfast.

The Daily Mail calls it the goriest show on earth, and as if to press home the point, it prints a graphic picture of Professor von Hagens at work on the corpse.

The Guardian describes the mood among the audience.

Before the first incision, people laughed and joked - it says.

The sweet smell of formalin filled the air, but no-one flinched.

Only when the man's sternum and ribcage were passed around on a stainless steel salver for the audience to inspect, did their insouciance begin to waiver.

The Daily Telegraph's cartoonist, Matt, shows a magician about to saw his female assistant in half.

"Don't worry," he reassures her "if this goes wrong, I'll just call it a public autopsy."

No sympathy

For a paper that prides itself on its coverage of hard news stories - The Daily Mirror's front page bears the somewhat surprising headline, "Where Is Iraq?".

Surprising that is until you realise that that's the question eight out of 10 Americans taking part in a survey by the National Geographic Society were unable to answer correctly.

The reply - given by a New York policeman - was typical.

With his finger hovering over northern Europe on an atlas, he declared, "I know it's round here somewhere".

Nearly all the papers carry pictures of Myra Hindley's coffin at Cambridge Crematorium, and even in death the headline-writers show her no sympathy.

"Myra rots in hell at last" - proclaims The Daily Express, while the Daily Star bids her "Goodbye and Good Riddance".

The Daily Telegraph sums up the mood of the occasion.

Hindley departs in silence - it says - reviled to the end.

The tabloids are almost as unforgiving in their treatment of Michael Jackson, who has apologised for briefly dangling his baby son from the fourth floor balcony of a hotel in Berlin.

Not usually known for understated headlines, The Sun refers to the singer as simply, "the Odd Father".

The Daily Mail poses the question, "Is He Fit To Be A Dad?", alongside a photograph of Jackson with his two older children - their heads covered in red veils - during a visit to a zoo.

Celebrity autopsy?

While an audience in East London were being treated to a public autopsy, television viewers were tuning in to Channel Four's new series of Celebrity Big Brother.

Not everyone is upbeat about it though - says The Daily Express.

Former winner - the comedian, Jack Dee - tells the paper, "I just wish the whole phenomenon would curl up and die.

"It smacks of a tired format from a TV channel that's run out of ideas".

The Daily Mirror warns that there is only one way this escalation of the TV ratings battle can end.

Stand by for Celebrity Autopsy.