It's not that I'm an old Scrooge or anything, but it seems that no sooner has the solitary day of summer been and gone than you're scouring the shops in the vain hope of finding a gift that will actually be appreciated come 25 December.

Long players, and latterly CDs, have always been a popular choice for stocking fillers, but the key is liaising with other members of the family to find out who's buying what for who. One of my relatives once ended up with four copies of Oasis' (What's The Story) Morning Glory?

Oasis: The Masterplan B-sides collection

If you're not handed a specific hit-list, you can end up buying the die-hard thrash metal fan a copy of the Divine Comedy's latest offering - particularly embarrassing when he's invited his mate round for turkey and mince pies.

Around this time of year the juggernauts of popular music take time out from counting their money and getting arrested to release a greatest hits/B-sides/covers album, normally aimed directly at aged parents who think they're being cool and trendy when they purchase a copy and present it to their offspring in Santa Claus paper - doh!

One of the most popular choices will inevitably be U2's Best Of 1980-1990 collection - with 14 tracks with everything from Pride to Sweetest Thing, it's a sure-fire winner.

Hot on its heels comes The Masterplan from Oasis. Although it's a compilation of B-sides which most 'true fans' will already own twice, it's head and shoulders above their last studio album Be Here Now and deserves consideration.

Metallica: "A worthy choice"

Metallica's double album of covers is another worthy choice, but if you're thinking of a peaceful Christmas with mistletoe and wine then pick up something by Cliff instead - it's guaranteed to drive everybody out to the pub.

Other offerings include the Depeche Mode singles assortment, the Levellers and Dodgy. For the older listeners there's John Lennon, Dire Straits, Love and, wait for it, Barry Manilow does Frank Sinatra - nice!

By far the most popular seller will, sadly, be Now 387 (sorry, 47) with all the hits from 98. One normally finds with these accumulations that there's a few numbers to get your foot tapping, but the majority will drive you temporarily insane. If you're buying it for the kids, wrap it with a pair of earphones, if you're buying it for your dad as a joke make sure you've got your trainers for a quick getaway.

Tony Bennett: Possibly not for the kids

Even worse is Virgin's non-stop Best Album In the World...Ever series. Latest releases are Rock, 70s, Glam, Party Megamix and Punk. The trouble is, half of these 'classics' you've never heard of. They're also beginning to run out of ideas and it won't be long before we have a Now-style epic on our hands, with volumes running into telephone numbers.

Finally, of course, there are the Christmas albums, where stars opt to toss away any credibility they've got by singing their favourite festive songs. Step forward Cyndi Lauper and Babyface as contenders for this year's Christmas turkeys, although, naturally they are upstaged by, you guessed it, The Best Christmas Album In The World...Ever!

By the fourth day of Christmas most of the above will be broken, scratched or being used for frisbees, or ashtrays. Your gran will have ended up with Now Dance 98, your five-year-old son will be trying to get to grips with Tony Bennett and your Boyzone-adoring sister will be throwing a tantrum after receiving the re-issue of the Sex Pistols' Never Mind The Bollocks.

Never mind, there's always next year.