Clash of the new

Madge's moments: Madonna is nominated again

Brits 2001 is strictly a case of fresh yet familiar faces and new ones their own grandmas would barely recognise. Music journalist Iestyn George explores this year's diverse line-up.

Hello again to Robbie, Norman, All Saints, Ronan, Kylie & Madge - all firm runners in the Brits stakes for the past five years.

But rewind the clock back a year, and you might have been found an imaginary small boy tugging at your arm and asking: "Who's the bloke with tidy beard and the weird hair and just what does he know that makes him want to smile all day and all night?"

Ask Craig David, why don't you.

Craig David: Six nominations

"And which of the organisers gave his bin man, the bloke with the beard and the tea cosy hat, a ticket?"

That's no refuse collector, that's Mercury Music Prize winning Damian Gough, aka Badly Drawn Boy.

But, but...that lady with the coal black eyes and the enormous forehead frightens me, daddy.

Her name's Polly Harvey, son, and clearly the only reason she was nominated was because the BPI were too scared not to.

Things that are just too predictable to predict, but we'll have a go anyway - a young lady will successfully catch the waiting eye of the paparazzi assembled outside London's Earl's Court due to the brevity of her cocktail dress.

Brandon Block, if invited after last year's onstage altercation with Ron Wood, will be equally at odds with his faculties. And U2 will win something.

Robbie Williams: On stage

The last prediction we already know is accurate due to the prior announcement that they will, on the night, be honoured for their Outstanding Contribution (To Stuff).

Which has spoilt the surprise somewhat, it has to be said, although it's also reduced the nail-biting tension of the occasion to manageable put-kettle-on-love-it's-only-chuffing-Bono proportions.

There is more than one Battle Royale to be fought. Brit Album is a stormer, with firm favourites Coldplay, battling against Robbie Williams, Craig David, David Gray and Radiohead.

If the latter wins, look out for Thom Yorke's victory speech, since he was hoping X & Y would be the album to lose all those unwanted hangers-on other groups more kindly called fans.

In a fair and righteous world, there would be awards for Moloko, MJ Cole, Kelis, Spiller and Death In Vegas

There's Britney versus Madonna in International Female, of course, as well as Westlife, S Club 7 and Steps in a shocking ménage a trois in the Pop category.

International Male is a complete free-for-all, with the winner out of Eminem, Ricky Martin, Sisqo, Ronan again and Wyclef Jean surely being the one who bothers turning up who is not any of the last three mentioned.

Of course, in a fair and righteous world, there would be awards for Moloko, MJ Cole, Kelis, Spiller and Death In Vegas.

Why? Because they deserve them for making music that means something and still manages to entertain.

What's more, Savage Garden would be taken out the back and have their chest hair removed one blade at a time with a rusty pair of pliers until they promised never, ever, to let their record company spend good money on TV advertising the pompous barrage of notation they call music.

But will it happen? 'Course not. That's why we love The Brits.

Iestyn George is a freelance journalist whose work has appeared in NME, GQ, and on radio and television.