Planet Tabloid's Festival of Silly Season Fun

Welcome to Planet Tabloid's annual festival of silly season fun! It's your chance to vote on which story is rightfully big news.

Every week Planet Tabloid cherry picks the best stories in the tabloid press and serves them up to our readers.

But special times call for special measures, and that's why each summer we have our festival of fun in which you, the reader, can vote for your favourite silly season story.

Last week you overwhelming chose the tale of the gold ring lost by a housewife 27 years ago which turned up INSIDE an apple. The nearest contender was the beer goggles challenge (in which Waynetta Slob morphed into Liz Hurley).

Click here if, instead, you want to go straight to our pun-writing challenge

So here are the stories to choose from. You, as they say, decide.

1) There's nothing like a fry-up even if you're up a mountain, right? Darn right, say the potholers who phoned in an order to their favourite caff... which then enlisted a backpacking delivery man to trudge four miles to the summit to serve up the grub.

Posties: It's THIS Fifth Ave

2) Er, which Fifth Ave? A letter clearly addressed to Hollywood star Paul Newman, of 1120 Fifth Ave, New York, landed on the mat of former dinner lady Irene Stoner, 120 Fifth Ave, York. Irene now hopes Paul will get some of her mail: "All I ever get is bills and he's welcome to those."

3) On holiday in the world's first nudist town. And there's photos to go with it. Need we say more?

4) Size does matter... when it comes to wine glasses. For research from Tennessee (!) shows that an important part of a wine's taste depends on its chemical reaction with oxygen. So theoretically, plonk will taste better in a glass the size of a goldfish bowl. Snobs will no doubt sing the praises of this "blowsy, full-stemmed number" - and that's just the wine.

This look just HAD to go

5) Which star has had the most new hairstyles? Ladies, take your places for the GREAT HAIRDO RACE. And they're off! Cher takes an early lead, closely tailed by Madge, but Julia's gaining fast... and here comes Kylie! But can she keep up with La Lopez? No she can't - and J-Lo wins!

6) We know foreign men (and footballers) kiss each other - now Brits are getting in on the act. Elton John and George Michael may be no surprise, but they've been joined by the likes of Prince Charles, Mick Jagger and Kylie's on-off-on-on-off-maybe boyfriend (not at the same time and not each other).

VOTE
	Choose your favourite story
		Fry-up on a mountain
		Which Fifth Ave?
		Baring all on holiday
		Welcome, wine glass snobs
		The Great Hairdo Race
		British men's pecking order

But wait, there's more! Here are some notable entries in last week's pun contest. We asked you to come up with a pun for the story about the drunken teenager who broke into Newquay zoo and tried to feed melting ice creams to the lions.

"Lyons maid me do it," said Chris. So too did Phil Watkins. "Lolly wally's cat-astrophe," said Larry Bailey. "Anyone for roars-berry ripple?" asked C. Eddie.

Thanks to those who entered. Your next task, should you chose to accept it, is to fashion a pun for the story about the UK's oldest dog - a vegan collie that has reached 27 on a diet of rice, veggies and lentils.

Your pun



Your name


Results next week. Tips to competitors: that's 189 in human years. Just thought you might like to know.