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SOME REGULAR HIGHLIGHTS OF THE MAGAZINE MONITOR
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Welcome to The Magazine Monitor, the all-on-one-page home for some of our most popular features, including the Caption Comp, 10 Things, and your letters. The Monitor is updated every weekday, with new stuff at the top.
10 THINGS WE DIDN'T KNOW THIS TIME LAST WEEK
1) Smoking killed nearly one million people worldwide in 2000, according to the World Health Organisation.
2) The world's first commercial Christmas card was denounced when it first appeared in 1843 because it showed a family toasting Christmas with glasses of red wine.
3) Sharon Osbourne comes from Brixton.
4) Chris Evans used to work at Camden Market.
5) Marine biologists say altruistic behaviour is not uncommon in dolphins.
6) Forget velvet revolutions, or even chestnut revolutions - Estonia had a "singing revolution".
7) A meritocracy is not a society in which everyone has equal right to rise to the top. When the term was coined in the 1950s by socialist Michael Young, it was meant as a criticism of Britain's two-tier education system which paid lip service to equality, but in practice, he claimed, kept poor children down, by relegating most of them to second-class schools.
8) Keith Floyd, for many the archetypal celebrity chef, hates the term.
9) There are reportedly 47 low-cost airlines in Europe, compared to just seven three years ago.
10) Ten pop-up urinals which were installed in London's West End this summer were forecast to collect 12,000 gallons in a night, according to the Guardian.
THE FRIDAY CHALLENGE FRIDAY 26 NOVEMBER 1330GMT
Your mission, should you choose to accept it...
It seems the battle to get young people engaged with politics comes down to words. Politics tends to be about formality, which necessitates copious tracts of verbose exhortation and inveiglement. "The right honourable member for such and such a constituency", "my learned friend" and so on.
In an effort to get down with the kids, Tony Blair turned his hand to a more concise form of communication. Taking part in a forum on Thursday, Mr Blair took questions texted by young people, before texting back his responses.
The result was short, no nonsense answers. Asked whether the Iraq war was necessary, Mr Blair gave a 19-word response: "Yes I believe it was. Despite the difficulties Iraq will become democratic and the world is safer without Saddam."
Compare that with the defence of the war Mr Blair offered in his conference speech this year, which ran to more than 130 words. Read the full speech here.
Imagine if all speeches could be this brief. Think of the time saved, both for politicians, but also for their audiences. Tell us how you would reduce some of the great political speeches of our time to a mere text message. Remember, the limit is 160 characters, and that includes spaces.
Need some help? Click here for a collection of historic political speeches. (The BBC is not responsible for the content of external websites.)
Abraham Lincoln's Gettysburg Address:
Govt 4 U.
Craig Sirel, UK
U cant ful every1. Abe.
dave godfrey, swindon
87yrs ago USA began on basis all men r equal + free. Gettysburg will stand 4 bravery of the dead not our words. We must make our Govt of, by & for the people.
Neil, Aberystwyth
(4*20)+7 yrs ago, R dads brort 4th on dis cntnt a nu nashun, conseevd in libRT & ddctd 2 V prop. dat all men R creatd =.
Paul Taylor, Manchester, UK
All people r=. We r @ war. Wrld wont 4get. We mst fin task. Dead nt die in vain. Gov of people by people 4 people
malcolm, Warsaw Poland
"Didn't we all promise to be nice to eachother & not pick on the weak?" = Summary of Lincolns Gettysburg address.
Colin Starkey, London, UK
Winston Churchill's "We will fight them on the beaches...":
BRNG IT ON ADLF
Dave Williams, Prudhoe, UK
CU IN BERLIN!
Stu Coates, England
We will fight them, all over the place.
Jon T, U.K
We will fight them on the beaches. Most other places too. Never surrender. See you in Berlin! x x x Winnie.
Nick, England
Martin Luther King's "I have a dream":
I have a dream. Equality.
David Dee, Mozambique
i thk we can all get on gr8. 1 day this is gng 2 hapn. :-)
Glenn J, UK
I hv drm 4all men 2be =. I hv drm 4no jgmt on skn clr. I hv drm 4blk n wht 2liv 2gthr. I hv drm 2day. Blk & wht men, Prots & Caths all sng Tks Gd wr free @last!
Chris Stokes, UK
Others:
Ya, but no, but ya, but i didn't sleep with monica.
dibkins, Ireland
Everyone who is good is blessed. Don't do bad stuff and worship god and pray like this.
Sermon on the mount
Ian, Bath,UK
Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears. Caesar is dead and Brutus may have just pulled the wool over your eyes.
Candace, New Jersey, US
notn 2 fr bt fr itslf
Ed, London
EdUK8on EdUK8on EdUK8on
alex evans, manchester
:-(
...summarises any speech by any politician, anywhere, any time.
Chris, UK
we few, we :-) few, we band of bros
Pete, UK
%%^*Fllolg*(*99f::---))899(&&^^^ jkfhjd
Well, it makes as much sense
Tom, UK
I warn U not 2B ordnry, old, yng, ill. Neilx
Helene Parry, South Wales expat to Brentford Lock
YOUR LETTERS FRIDAY 26 NOVEMBER 100GMT
In the story How your face could open doors, Hugh Carr-Archer shows a refreshing approach to statistics. "We can't say it's 100% but we've done tests and have a zero failure rate" he says. If only politicians and journalists could be so open about what their statistics actually tell us.
Ray Lashley
Bristol, UK
I've finally come to the end of my tether. It was your article on favourite English words that did it. You said British people "may have voted differently". Using "may" here implies that British people voted, but we don't know how they voted. Using "might" or "might well" (as you should have done) can imply that British people would quite possibly have voted differently, if given the chance. There is an important difference between "may" and "might", and it isn't that "might" is posher. PLEASE use English properly, especially in an article about the language, for crying out loud!
LJ
Manchester, UK
The latest findings on divorce states that couples tend to marry in haste and come to regret it. Does that mean that the 'Ex's' have become 'Wise'?
Mal Walker
Hahndorf, South Australia
Oh dear. It seems we Monitor readers did not make it into Private Eye's neophiliacs column this week. My own suspicion is that our attempts were all too tongue-in-cheek. What we need is some seriousness to pass muster. Being straight-faced, after all, is the new mischief.
Luke Robinson
Southgate
Re: Derek, Chatham. Excellent idea! Surely it's the new Reader to Reader Challenger: Plan and devise a contemporary, up-to-the minute, catchy slogan. There may even be a few serious suggestions.
Josh D
Leicstershire, UK
Here's a suggestion for a slogan, and it's certainly up-to-date, inspired as it is by an excellent film with Jude Law I saw recently: "I heart Monitor".
Edward Higgins
Plumstead
CAPTION COMPETITIONFRI 26 NOVEMBER 1230GMT
It's time again for the caption competition.
This week, what's being said as exhibits for a design show at Buckingham Palace are installed?
6. Maggie, UK
Yeah - this must be one of the last - course it was before our time - but there was this thing called the post office...
5. Luke A, York, UK
Fathers for Justice latest stunt: Dangermouse.
4. CF, UK
Which idiot lost the key?!
3.Michael Brown, UK
We think the suspect is mail
2. Charles Miller-Cooper, UK
New measures to secure postal ballots.
1. Ian, Stratford-on Avon, Warwickshire
Move along now. There's nothing to see.
YOUR LETTERS THURSDAY 25 NOV 1215GMT
The Totaljobs survey on people intending to leave their jobs asks voters to choose between "yes, i'm outta here" and "no, where would I go?". It misses an important option: No, I'm perfectly happy where I am. Or am I just old-fashioned?
Vik
Herts, UK
Re: Kevin Thornton's question on how ID cards will stop terrorists; (Monitor letters, Wednesday). It is quite a tricky technique to master but if you get the flick of your wrist just right, plastic cards can be very painful. Just as the Class of '95 from my old school.
Ray Lashley
Bristol, UK
"We did expect that we would see that they were producing enough force to run on the top of the water," the researcher in the institution's department of organismic and evolutionary biology explained. (How lizards walk on water, 24 November.) Why? Because the lizards had been observed, err ... running on the water. Isn't science wonderful?!
QJ,
Stafford
Re 'Virgin Mary' toast fetches $28,000. Does anyone else think that this should read "'Cosette logo from Les Misérables' toast fetches $28,000"?
Evan
Edinburgh
While I quite like reading the Monitor, I really think you should get with the plan and devise a slogan. With a contemporary, up-to-the minute, catchy line, our daily satisfaction might prove to be that much more heightened. Or it might not, but it's surely worth the risk?
Derek
Chatham
PUNORAMA THURS 24 NOVEMBER 1130GMT
It's time for Punorama, our pun-writing competition.
The rules are straightforward - we choose a story which has been in the news, and invite you to create an original punning headline for it. Originality is what counts.
Your headlines, please, for the story about the pile of 44,000 old fridges piled up in a heap in Manchester, after the company which was disposing of them lost its contract. As a special hurdle, your pun must not include the word "cold".
Here is the judges' report.
An impressive mountain of entries, only some of which had their doors hanging off. On the top shelf were Nigel Macarthur (and a gazillion others) with
Fridge Over Troubled Water and Lou Moore (plus another gazillion) with A fridge too far.
Next to the old mayonnaise was Jan, Warwick, with Fridger, for poorer, Martin Price with Defrost report, and Brian Saxby with Cooler shirker.
Buried beneath three brown paper bags of very damp mushrooms were Ian, Bristol, with Smeg up (like there'd really be any of those on the pile), Fred from Norwich with The tip of the ice-box, and Claire, Southampton, with a line in dated brand-name-related humour: Fridge-oh-dear!.
But in the handy door compartment, in pride of place, for the second week running is Maggie, South London, with Centigrave. Three stars.
(Entries now closed.)
YOUR LETTERS WEDS 24 NOVEMBER 1045GMT
Re: Smartphones suffer Skulls attack. How times have changed. You report: "Once installed the program replaces all the icons on the main page with skulls and replaces all the working applications, such as contacts, calendar, notebook etc with non-working versions so the phone becomes almost useless. The only thing the phone can do is make and take calls."
Paivi Tenhunen
London
Re City seeks 'anti-gay' album ban, 23 November. You know you've been doing too much scrapbooking when album means photo album. .. .and you have to click on the headline to work out what this is all about
Henri
UK
Could someone please explain how ID cards (ID card scheme unveiled by Queen, 23 November) are going to stop terrorists?
Kevin Thornton
Staffordshire, England
The Queens Speech - The Words. To start with, this year's speech was considerably shorter, by 218 words (1211 to last year's 1429). The phrase "my government" was used 28 times, just beating last year's total of 27. But though the use of "my government" was about the same, the word "will" dropped from 67 to 55. Fewer promises - or less to do? Last year, "bill" was mentioned 18 times whereas this year only 11. A good sign, or a bad one? And finally "crime". It was reported that crime was to be a more important issue this year - and it was. Last year it was was used twice, this year, a total of 7. (My counts are based on the texts of speeches from the BBC transcript - and I totally accept the blame if I can't count properly.)
Josh D
Leicstershire
Michael Garrard needs to buy a DVD player costing more than £30 (10 things about VCRs, 22 November) Mine has a resume function which will start a disc in the same place you stopped it.
Incidentally, Dixons are dropping the VCR simply because it doesn't make them enough money. But who still shops at Dixons?
Tim Miller
London, UK
British Gas have found that some "luxury" toilet tissue takes longer to break down in the toilet pipe than newspaper (Luxury paper a strain on drain, 22 November). I believe that there are still some sheets of early 1980's "tracing paper" circulating aroind the drains of my old school.
Paul Gitsham
Manchester UK
If global warming eventually affects the UK's river systems, will the Exe become the new Wye?
Peter Collins, Belfast
READING LIST TUESDAY 23 NOVEMBER 1425GMT
Good things to read on other websites.
The government has been accused of creating a "climate of fear", as it made the fights against crime and terrorism its main priorities in the Queen's Speech. An article in Spiked argues this tactic has been "recycled in different forms for decades", and not just by politicians. In fact, the article suggests that both sides of certain debates have used the threat of terrorism to support their stance.
Guardian Online imagines a blog written by the Queen, in which Her Majesty describes being pestered by her eldest son about her forthcoming speech while she's trying to watch I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here. Meetthewindsors.com - it could happen.
What is a RAT? Beyond the obvious answer of the long-tailed rodent with a remarkable capacity for survival, it is also, of course, a Rock Abrasion Tool like those found on the Mars rovers Spirit and Opportunity. The Times Online discovers that the brushing and drilling of Martian soil by these two probes is being run by two men in their 20s in a "drab little office" in New York. One of the men sums up the pressure of their work: "No one wants to screw up on Mars."
Send your suggestions for next week's Reading List, using the form on the right. But woe betide anyone who should forget that the BBC is not responsible for the content of external websites.
YOUR LETTERS TUESDAY 23 NOVEMBER 1000GMT
Can I suggest a compromise on the hunting/smoking bans. That we ban hunting in pubs and clubs and ban smoking in the countryside!!!
Alastair Moffat
Derby
"We would advise parents to take their babies out in daylight during the day."(Daylight 'aids baby night sleep' , 22 November) Yep, the day is generally accepted as being the best time to find daylight.
Doug
Swindon, UK
To Michael L Garrard: What about stopping the video and going to sleep, forgetting that you'd not got the tape to the right place and recording over the old programme with that late night cult movie. Highly frustrating.
Dom Selvon
London
I find it amazing how you can buy a DVD Player with a remote for around the same price as some DVD films cost. Thats pretty outrageous when you think that it costs pennies to actually make and package a DVD film.
Ben Hobbs
Thailand, ex-UK
The stage is now set for the Innovations catalogue to boast, 'Stop! don't throw away all those old VHS tapes. This handy videocassette recorder plugs directly into your TV and will allow you to enjoy your collection of home recordings once more!'
Chris
Stirlingshire, UK
Call 999
Si has finally flipped.
Henri
UK
YOUR LETTERS MON 22 NOVEMBER 1700GMT
Roy in Helsinki suggests starting a magazine called Exe so that Exe could be the new Eye. There did in fact used to be a magazine called .EXE - I'm not sure if it's still around. It wasn't satirical, though it was aimed at personal computer developers.
Paul Clare
Marlow, UK
If it costs American Airlines £500 to pick up pillows off one plane in one year (10 things we didn't know, 19 November) just how heavy are these pillows? Do they have to use specialist lifting equipment?
John Airey
Peterborough, UK
I have issue with your third entry in 10 things we didn't know last week. In fact, anyone who watches Have I Got News For You regularly already knows this. Boris was forced to play Mastermind and got the first question wrong when asked his name. Angus Deayton very proudly read out his entire name, to the great mirth of the audience
Ed
London UK
You report Too many use alcohol as a crutch, 22 November. So why do I keep falling over when I'm drunk?
Andy Porritt
Switzerland
10 THINGS ON VCRs MON 22 NOV 1100 GMT
As electrical retailer Dixons says goodbye to the video cassette recorder, we rewind and pause on the best bits from its lifetime.
1. The first VCR to go on sale at Dixons was priced £798.75 in 1978, which is the equivalent of more than £3,000 today.
2. Hollywood film studios were slow to release their films on videotape because they thought it may knock cinema viewing, so most early video rental tapes were low-budget horror or sex films.
VCRs were clunky at the start
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3. The first VCR marketed in Britain was by Philips in 1972, but the £1,600 price tag failed to lure shoppers.
4. Efforts to capture the public imagination, including a plug on BBC's Tomorrow's World in 1973, failed until Sony came up with the Betamax in 1975, a year before VHS.
5. During the 1980s, JVC's VHS recorders (it stands for Video Home System) saw off the challenge of Betamax to lead the video market.
6. In the early days, comedian Peter Kay's family was just one of those which would put a cushion in front of the flashing digital clock, so any burglars looking through the window wouldn't see the booty on offer.
7. By 1990 more than 200 million video cassette recorders a year were sold worldwide.
8. Almost 90% of UK households owned at least one in 2002.
9. The number of VHS cassettes sold in 2003 fell by 19% to 60 million, compared with a rise of 75%, to 139 million, for DVDs, according to the British Video Association.
10. Now DVD players - which sell for as little as £25 - outstrip sales of VCRs by a ratio of 40 to one, but the DVD itself faces competition from hard-disk drive recorders and personal video recorders.
Send us your freeze-framed memory of VCRs, using the form on the right hand side of this page.
Your comments:
Can you programme a recordable dvd player with more ease than a VHS recorder?
Karl Duvall, Liverpool /UK
Re-record has faded away! About time too!
Ali Booker, Worthing, UK
Does anybody else remember the excellent Video 2000? You could record on both sides of the tape!
Jenny, London
Do you remember those early "remote" control devices that were attached to the video via a long lead? Not quite as versatile as the current infra-red nes, but at least finding the control wasn't a problem - just follow the lead
Stephen Buxton, Coventry, UK
I also remember my secondary school in the early 70's having an old (modern then) reel to reel video player-recorder.
Glyn Lewis, Lisbon Portugal
What bugs me about this Dixons announcement is that it basically says that they don't give a stuff for the user ! We all have lots of tapes, both bought and recorded, that will never be usable once our VCRs break down. What about all those limited edition Disney releases that will never be available again.
Paul Charleton, UK
I remember my Mum shortly after our first 'recording' from TV to VHS, putting the tape next to the car keys so that she could 'take it to Boots and get it developed'.
Andrew Mavin, Brussels
Twice a year, my late mother-in-law would have to get me to adjust the clock on her VCR when we switched from GMT to BST and back.
C.S.Vaughton, Sheffield
Sorry to be sad but I think you'll find VHS stands for vertical horizontal scan.
Neil Griffiths, Birmingham
My toploading Ferguson Videostar (like the one picured above) was still working after fifteen years' service. Sure, to operate it the following procedure had to be undertaken: A Tippex bottle was inserted to keep the heads in the right position; the aforementioned heads then had to be sprung into postion for it to play by tugging on a length of string; the worn out drive bands were replaced by a section of bicycle innertube; the machine had to be kept at a fiteen degree angle by propping a book under it. But try doing that with a DVD player.
George Colquhoun, Wallsend, UK
Just as the record deck and vinyl took a long while to fade away (they're still around!), so the VCR will be necessary to play all the tapes people have amassed through the years. And it should be said that early VCR recordings from TV were very high quality. I have some tapes, circa 1985/6 that offer an excellent picture, unlike more recent recordings on popular, ie cheaper, machines.
Jeff Meddle, West Sussex
Sorry to be even sadder, but officially, VHS does indeed stand for, Video Home System. Initially however, it stood for Vertical Helical Scan, after the relative head/tape scan technique.
Mark Hebda, Huddersfield, England
Sorry to be even more sad, but the initials VHS originally stood for Victor (Company) Helical Scan system.
Amish Patel, Crawley, UK
To Paul Charleton: -
You mean all those Disney special editions which are being re-released as mega-deluxe 2-disc DVDs with tons of extras?
Dave Higgins, Folkestone, UK
I remember my first VCR the blanks i think were about £12
We could not afford the rental on it so one day when I came home from school it was gone.
I remember the very first thing I recorded on it. It was a copy of Steptoe & Son.
I still have the very same recording stored somewhere.
Mike Peters, Brighton
The one and only time I bunked off school was to watch The Evil Dead round at a mate's house in 1983. We stared at snow for 10 minutes straining to hear the sound and then got caught by his mum.
David Ricketts, Didcot, Oxon
Stop a video in the middle when you're tired and ready for bed, and then set the VCR to tape that late night cult movie. Then, put the first tape back in the next night and, wonder of wonders, the film starts in excactly the same place where you stopped it! Amazing, eh! Meanwhile, the DVD user is fiddling around to trying to work out which chapter he was on - assuming he can find the menu! To paraphrase those immortal words of the Buggles,DVD killed the VCR!
Michael L Garrard, London
SI'S RIDDLE MON 22 NOVEMBER 100GMT
Each Monday, Si sets a riddle for you to puzzle over.
Send your answer using the form below.
Dialling Codes
944666444668883366833384433833555337446666633?
The BBC may edit your comments and not all emails will be published. Your comments may be published on any BBC media worldwide.
The answer to last week's riddle was Tom. The riddlemeister explains: "Taking the middle letter of caSsy, matThew and gUy gives the next name STU, similarly saRah, thOra, brYan --> ROY and iAn, siMon, waYne --> AMY. Therefore to complete the set we take the middle letters of the derived names: sTu, rOy, aMy --> TOM."
The winner of the riddle, chosen from the correct entries, was Kate Firkin, Dublin.
Si is a contributor to the Puzzletome website.
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