Debt diary: Feeling fragile

Sayara Beg wants to reach a deal with her creditors

Thousands of people in the UK are struggling with ever-increasing levels of personal debt.

BBC News website reader Sayara Beg, 36, a freelance IT consultant from East London, has been telling her story of dealing with debt.

Mum-to-be Sayara reflects on the draining effect of her struggle and what steps she can take to boost her ready cash and income.

Diary entry nine

I feel exhausted. I'm nearing the end of my pregnancy and everything feels like an effort.

Since starting this diary, I have had a mixed response from friends and family.

Some admire what I am doing. Others are horrified that I mention the dreaded "D" word: debt.

Having to explain how I got here and why I am in this situation, while assuring them I will be OK, is a huge effort.

I notice I have become more sensitive to other people's financial concerns, even strangers Sayara's debt diary: entries 1, 2 and 3 Debt diary: entries 4 and 5 Debt diary entries: 6, 7 and 8

Some of those nearest to me have offered help - but everyone seems to be waking a financial tightrope with mortgages and credit cards, so I decline their aid.

I notice I have become more sensitive to other people's financial concerns, even strangers, and find myself automatically offering a sympathetic ear just to let them speak out and get things off their chest.

Some of the emails I have received from BBC News website readers have shown me that I am far from alone in having difficulties. (I hope to get to answer some of the emails soon.)

It seems that we are a nation with one thing in common - debt.

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I know there are some who have suggested because I have buy-to-let property, I do not have problems.

My problems stem, though, from a sudden change in circumstances - losing my job. I am asset-rich and cash-poor, and that financial fragility is being exposed.

To counter my feelings of tiredness and frustration I think positive.

In IT, being out of work for more than six months can render one's skills nearly obsolete.

So I think about doing some kind of a refresher course whilst on maternity leave.

The course I have chosen gives me a professional qualification. It has three levels, and I booked myself on a two-day basic skills - part of level one - in July. It's only £300.

This gives me a positive boost, and I begin to feel excited and look forward to those two days.

But I am in for a shock. To do the second level course the cost is £2,500. I cannot afford it.

Diary entry ten

CREDIT DECISIONS EXPLAINED The industry is committed to sharing as much data about customers as is legally possible, in order to assist with responsible lending Credit expert explains how banks decide to whom money should be lent

I have my second appointment with my debt counsellor.

This time we discuss how I can grow my income, because my budget is not balancing out.

We discuss taking in lodgers, part-time working and even selling things on eBay.

There is no room for a lodger; we live in a two-bedroom house. As for part-time working, any money I earned would go in nursery fees, so it's not an option.

So it comes down to the obvious: selling a buy-to-let property.

The difficulty with this option is that it could take between two and six months for the sale to complete, so we need to find a way of balancing the budget while the sale completes.

Not forgetting, of course, that there will be hefty mortgages to pay off and sale fees.

My counsellor suggested that I approach my mortgage lenders and get them to switch me to an interest-only mortgage arrangement.

I do so. Yes, they say: it can be done - but only if I pay yet more hefty administration fees, which again I cannot afford.

My counsellor is surprised at their attitude.

CONCERNED ABOUT DEBT? National Debtline: A free, confidential and independent service funded by the Department of Trade and Industry and the credit industry. Tel: [phone] Business Debtline: Provides a free telephone debt counselling service for self-employed and small businesses, funded by banks. Tel: [phone] Consumer Credit Counselling Service: Funded entirely by the credit industry, the service offers advice to people in debt. Tel: [phone] Citizens Advice: Offers free, independent and confidential advice from more than 700 locations throughout the UK. Take our debt test

Surely, he says, it's better that they get some money rather than that I default.

What is more, in the long term they will benefit as they will get more money in interest.

I feel depressed. But my counsellor says he feels more optimistic about things. He says he can see "light at the end of the tunnel".

I ask him: what is the most common reason for people not being able to cope with their debts?

What provides the tipping point, he explains, is a change of personal circumstance, such as divorce, ill-health or - as in my case - loss of work.

And so we agree that in preparation for the next appointment, I will look into how quickly I can sell one of the properties and work out what equity I could squeeze out of it after clearing the mortgage and paying the fees and taxes.

Once the appointment is over, I feel more focused. I have to concentrate on my "priority debts", such as my mortgages and paying council tax.

But then I am hit with a penalty charge by one of my credit card providers.

This is despite the fact that they had agreed I could pay just 1% of the outstanding balance.

I call their customer service team and it turns out that the penalty was automatically applied by the computer.

I realised that these creditors don't even have systems in place to accommodate special arrangements to start at a future date - only systems that deal with accounts after they are in arrears and charges are applied.

What would have happened if I hadn't checked the statement and just put it to one side expecting everything to be in order, I wonder?

The opinions expressed are those of the author and are not held by the BBC unless specifically stated. The material is for general information only and does not constitute investment, tax, legal or other form of advice. You should not rely on this information to make (or refrain from making) any decisions. Always obtain independent, professional advice for your own particular situation.